Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML
Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in The Bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
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Top comments
rawrface22 10
Chickens are reptiles , duh
sheethapins 13
74 No matter how you cook a tomato it's still a fruit. If you put lettuce in a parfait does that make it a fruit? If you wear socks outside are they magically shoes? The only time you can transform a fruit into a vegetable is if you completely paralyze Richard Simmons.
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Comments (196)
rawrface22 10
Chickens are reptiles , duh
Isoldael 27
Then again, they can also fly. Avi-amphibian?
IndiRae 9
16- I can swim, my dog can swim, my cats can swim, my horses can swim. And I'm pretty sure that we are all mammals..
IndiRae 9
16- I can swim, my dog can swim, my cats can swim, my horses can swim. And I'm pretty sure that we are all mammals..
docscientist 10
No, 32 just failed extremely hard.
cwissi 5
I think I know who won the stupid award
olpally 33
Who cares?!? Lol.. Op your mom is stupid so dont argue with her..
EnEl_Infierno 15
That's true chickens are reptiles, Emma Watson is an alien, Obama is Kenyan, and from majority of these fmls I believe were a nation destined to be called, idoitocracy.
ILoveEmoes 9
Spelled wrong by accident or a clever joke, 84, that is the question!
danishbagel 3
32 is a special brand of human known as "Mentally Unfit" or "Mother-******* Retarded".
Sweet_Testicles 7
32 is making me lose faith that people know what sarcasm is nowadays
CryMoreFMLs 15
It's okay Indi, we still love you.
EnEl_Infierno 15
#93 *facepalm* Now their goes my shot to be president of Idiocracy and settle for being a congressman. fml.
GabbyCharityM 0
84 - Idiocracy. Not "idiotocracy". Idiocracy is actually a movie too, btw.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
131-Don't lie to her.
EnEl_Infierno 15
149- scroll up just a little bit, that's. right, now slowly read post 132, now really loud so we can all hear it... *FACEPLAM*
CryMoreFMLs 15
152 - But... :( Lying makes me feel better...
IceColdCholo 0
Wow. That was a pretty big fail
purrfume 0
Chickens are birds and all birds are essentially reptiles because they stem from the dinosaurs (thus being reptiles). Remember the dinosaur that flew with it's beak and bat-like wings? The fact that they are reptiles can be seen by their beaks, laying eggs and so forth. I repeat - all birds are in fact reptiles!! I'm not making this stuff up, study zoology. Mammals are classified by giving birth directly without eggs!
themacuser 0
agree, drown the stupid bitch
Asianess 0
WTF horses can't swim?
AnagenisisZagus 13
131, speak for yourself.
viper07 2
okay 175, where do I start.. first of all, if giving live birth is a classification for being a mammal, then how could a platypus or an echidna be a mammal? which they are btw. and some reptiles do in fact give live birth such as some rattlesnakes and garter snakes second, if having a beak and laying eggs makes something a reptile then an octopus and a squid are both reptiles...? I think the dinosaur you're talking about is a pterosaur, which didn't have a beak and its wings were far from bat-like. unless you're talking about archaeopteryx which had feathers and flew but is neither a bird nor a reptile. dinosaurs have their own classification. and last but not least, birds are in no way reptiles as can be seen by the fact that they are warm-blooded, lay hard-shelled eggs as opposed to leathery shells, have hollow bones, have a heart with a different number of chambers, have a completely different metabolism, and half a dozen other things.
kaaayceeee 0
And you said you hate stupid people looool...
BShady96 0
Chicken is food. The end.
nature_girl_08 14
oops. XD i see that 226 said birds weren't reptiles, not dinosaurs. in which case, you're right, they're not technically reptiles. but the rest of my statement stands for everyone else
Angel1000168 16
My horse swims all the time.
Testing1234 25
Are you frekin kidding me right now? Please say you are!
goober675 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
um chickens are mammals?
lolboy300 0
And birds are mammals!
GrammarNaziFTW 0
Wow 10
ibedestinie 0
******!!
Angelastic_fml 18
Not all mammals have live births; monotremes are mammals that lay eggs (and produce milk.) Mammary glands are they key.
Skinkitten 0
True! The platypus is one.
instnt1nfction 17
There is a platypus controlling me And he's under the table
theawesomest007 1
Haha its sad that ik wher thats from :P
iparker97 0
Yeah and the elephant is a nocturnal Vertebrae
shovels 0
Birds are mammals! Tomatoes are fruit! Finland is not in Scandinavia!
shovels 0
97, The first one was sarcasm, but when I said the other two, I was cereal!
sheethapins 13
Platypus are secret agents who save the world from grandma's meatloaf. Duh.
Dr_Jalepenos 0
Platypussies are secret agents.
tucansam555 3
Idiot -_______-
cab227 2
Aren't birds warm blooded? That makes them a mammal.
SugarRushxx 0
No, 162, that does not make them automatically mammal. God ******* damn it.
gymyboy95 0
mammals don't lay eggs
gymyboy95 0
sorry most don't but if your a bird your a bird not a mammal just like a reptiles not a mammal or an amphibian bird is genre so to speak just like mammal
iparker97 0
Somebody failed biology class....
rawritsannie 0
You must be retarded.
legitasaurusrex 0
Obviously sarcasm...
ThatsSOBforshort 2
Well DUH, EVERYONE knows that...
oops_im_fucked 8
Oh I get it...
oops_im_fucked 8
Oh I get it...
iBanana 17
Obviously not.
ThatOneCanadian 0
Some people just get a degree to say they have one, or get a good job :/
IFF_President 6
Lol i didn't know that!
CleverBastard 8
Why are all parents on FML painfully stupid? -_-
jellybeans4833 7
Why would they end up on FML otherwise?
rattusrattus 19
"My parents are amazingly wise, wonderfully benevolent, utterly sane, gloriously tolerant, delightfully intelligent and practically perfect in every way. FML" Yeah, not gonna happen.
white16sox 19
Well it could be like "Today I got in an argument with my mother because she said aligators are reptiles. I'm an alligator hunter and I didn't know that FML"
CrAzYyEt 8
Lol no worries my mom is a dumb ass too.
Nothingson1864 0
That's not nice to say about your mom...-_-
CrAzYyEt 8
I'm a teenager. It's basically my right to say that about my mom.
Angelastic_fml 18
Maybe it's because they have 'breasts'
sheethapins 13
OP's mom has "breasts," so... she's a chicken? Slowly things are becoming much clearer...
tellithowitis 13
just give her a medicine. there's a special kind called 'google'
Wheredidgrungego 12
I always though chickens were fast food. My bad.