Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I met with my boss hoping to hear about a possible raise that had been promised many months ago. He then told me that the only way I would get a raise was if I found a better paying job and took it, and that the company was in no position to offer anyone a raise. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Today, I was promoted. After going to school for 10 months to get certified for the new position, training extensively, and taking on a ton more responsibility, I was hoping for a decent raise. How much do my bosses think all of that time and effort is worth? One dollar more per hour than I made before. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
Today, I inquired about getting a raise from a company that I've been with for 5 years. My manager said I'll get one starting February 29th. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
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Top comments
SaintJimmy 0
So, do you work in a reality parallel to ours or is your boss a couple apples short of a fruit cake?
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Wtf? In the real world, it would be inappropriate to secretly drug your boss, dress him in a banana costume and shove a pole up his ass, saying "Hello Mr. Bananaman on a steek!", but this isn't the real world. Wild you go.
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Comments (63)
SaintJimmy 0
So, do you work in a reality parallel to ours or is your boss a couple apples short of a fruit cake?
stlcards220 4
i think the boss is a couple apples short of a fruit cake
papahmarioulez 0
I think his boss is a few french fries short of a happy meal.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
the boss is a few yards short of a first down.
vapors 0
Maybe the boss discovered the matrix.
Finnboghi 0
Maybe the boss is a few 0's short of The One.
OLOtheDemigodess 0
Win.
bobmandude 0
He's a few pancakes short of a grand slam breakfast.
Macromartyr 3
He took the blue bill, you were afraid of the rabbit hole and took the red one
8bitjerrio 0
Nah, he just discovered hippies' favorite pastime.
bubba8739 0
I think his boss is just an ass. That's my guess.
jackkerouc9 0
No he must work at Abercrombie & Fitch too. At this waste land, a raise is unheard of.
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Wtf? In the real world, it would be inappropriate to secretly drug your boss, dress him in a banana costume and shove a pole up his ass, saying "Hello Mr. Bananaman on a steek!", but this isn't the real world. Wild you go.
WaffleNinja96 0
win
Awesome_Guy2468 0
op is obviously in the matrix movie
Ranoona 0
your boss is just plain dumb. What world does he think were living in then? Sorry you didn't get a raise.
jchansfan 0
I don't get the fixation with raises. Well i do, people want more money, but everywhere you turn you hear about the "tough economic times" it only makes sense for raises to be less common. Suck it up.
honestly_ydi 0
You live in Michigan. And while it sucks that you didn't get a raise, be glad you are not part of the 14% without any job at all.
sadistmonkey 19
I'm sorry that you didn't get the raise but that was a hilarious thing for your boss to say. Even if he is an ass.
dsl135 0
Start showing up late and doing lots of random stuff like going to the bathroom in your cubicle and just randomly getting up and leaving meetings and coming back with a pizza. That way when he asks why you're acting this way, you can say "Well, in the real world, I wouldn't. But this isn't the real world."
naturally_artifi 0
that's a bad idea... the OP: should use HIS office as a bathroom.
wazdog 4
Could've been worse. He could've said: we're in a f*cking recession you moron. You're lucky you still have a job. On second thought..
Swoken 0
ydi u deserve the raise.