Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
mfmylifesrsly 30
115 - you met Andy Sixx???? :o jealous!
Connor_Williams 2
lol mine is bigger than that when it's normal and I'm 14
djkappy 0
same
killakiwi 1
When it's normal? WTF happens when it is not normal? It gets big and green and yells peewee smash?
gkings18 1
haha you guys are cool
SpizzySpose_fml 0
what about your tongue?
Lisa89 3
For me personally size doesn't matter to me. [I don't want to give a life story about how I came to this conclusion, you just have to trust me]. So, I while I can try to understand OP's dilemma, I don't really... That's unfortunate OP, that it bothers you so much. Just be smart and think about communication and making the right choices in life.
Ren_Baby 0
If you're worried about that of all things he's not your true love, or you need to grow up, love.
vip3r20 8
materialistic bitch!!!
thumper_tigr 0
Size isn't everything, 3 inches is hell at 90 mph! Tee hee, good luck!
geronimo501 0
lol that's a good one
peke20 0
Well if you say that he is the love of your life then that should not matter. But if it really does matter to you then that is not called love.
shanvherr 0
Ohhhhhhh come on it's not his fault, he if he was a horrible person yea leve him but if he treats you right who cares. blame his genes not him."
calvin10 0
that love of your life thing - maybe you should think that over... ;-) OR get a smallet phone!