Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mister_moops 0
lol. did they bite?
netbeui435 3
scary.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
Yulutski 0
Wow seriously? I now have a new reason to dislike squirrels... XD Vicous monsters.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Was it Rocky? :D Seriously though, next time kick it or stomp on it. Or heaven forbid, let your dog go get it. And if the dog gets beat up, then it deserved it, as it was probably one of those nasty little rat dogs.
sfgfan10 0
can everyone please stop phrasing their fmls this way? it's incredibly annoying.
Squid_surfer 0
I had a squirrel follow me once. Through the woods. For 3 hours. Chattering, Pissed that I disturbed it. Squirrels aren't scary, but this one had a evil gleam... like >:D! :o
My_averageFML 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! to funny.
tameingraleat 6
I had that happen when I was about 6 years old.. I've been afraid of squirrels ever since.
ak7987 0
SHOOT THE FRICKIN SQUIRRELS. y is everyone so anti hunting???
diet_otaku 0
because the squirrels haven't done anything wrong and you have no business killing things you don't need for food.
starwarsguy330 0
dude, their squirrlls, its not an endangerd animal
Ranoona 0
my dog would have killed them.
Etoile_fml 0
Squirrely wrath. Anyone else hear Foamy The Squirrel?
Sethyboy0 4
If squirrels got near my dog he would eat them. Even if they were charging me and my dog wasn't there, I would just punt them. Self-defense is legal against humans, so it must be fine with squirrels.