Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery, and when it arrived, the box was completely empty except for a receipt and a piece of lettuce. I called the restaurant, and they insisted I must’ve eaten it all, and was just pretending. I took a picture of the empty box and the soggy piece of lettuce to prove them wrong. It didn't work. FML
Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
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Top comments
peterblack67 9
Guess what. The cashier doesn't give a crap what your situation is. They just want the money.
Regis Bent 12
Pretty sure the cashier at a pizza place has more to think about than your friend situation.
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Comments (8)
peterblack67 9
Guess what. The cashier doesn't give a crap what your situation is. They just want the money.
Ali Nayeri 4
Literally lol. Besides, how exactly would they know if you were sharing the pizza or not? During covid right now we're encouraged to send only one person from the household to do grocery shopping, for example. Also anyone who works in retails knows we forget people's faces like 2 minutes after serving them 😂
Regis Bent 12
Pretty sure the cashier at a pizza place has more to think about than your friend situation.
RichardPencil 32
The main challenge the cashier is how to most harshly judge you either for being a glutton who will eat a large pizza in one sitting, or for being lazy for asking for extra plates so you do have to wash dishes, or for thinking you could fool a pizza-shop cashier. Given social rank of pizza-shop cashiers, I suggest you move to a new continent where you can start with fresh reputation.
giraffe_poop 8
Idk, but all this talk about pizza is making me hungry.
Malachi Malachi 4
there are a lot of good people out there. forget what the cashier thought or cares about
bound101 7
So true! Go get some great friends and forget about it.
red6joker 8
pro tip, no one cares. just get your pizza and move on with your life.
jc1015 25
then you publicly announce to 100's of thousands (perhaps millions) of people that you have no friends...good job 🙄
giraffe_poop 8
lol