Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
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Top comments
mister_moops 0
lol. did they bite?
netbeui435 3
scary.
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Comments (101)
mister_moops 0
lol. did they bite?
hibarisanstr 0
squirrels are a mther ******, 1st hand experience :O
LewJH 0
Can't you just like, kick them?
heavenandhell 0
yea or step on them...
Skull_300 0
You need to get rid of those pussy dogs and get yourself a dog that will chase those ******' squirrels off your property. Then you can sit back and laugh...
KumoFF7 3
I agree. YDI for having a pussy of a dog.
trollskitroll 0
YDI for being a pansy
dx169 0
OH ****, SQUIRRELS! GET IN THE LION!
danyfuckinheatle 0
they're squirrels you ******* pussy.
luvtheknot 6
Oh man better watch out for squaids they are some bad mother *******
joce445 0
It would be worse if the squirrel had rabies!
Grimmerie 31
squirrels can't get rabies.
netbeui435 3
scary.
theyseemetrollin_fml 0
YDI for using calculators.
Spyingcheeseman 8
They are tiny little squirrels. just kick them as hard as you can
Nissi 17
Yes, yes they do. Squirrels are evil creatures. Take it from me, a sciurophobic.
capnjax 0
YOU'RE SCARED OF THEM?? seriously, grow up.
CyclonePsycho 1
A lot of squirrels are pretty aggressive. They sometimes even pop out of trashcans and scare the living daylights out of the innocent bystanders wandering by on our nearby college campuses. o_o
medfly 2
cats do too...
primogen18 0
yeah, my college campus was full of them, brave little *******.
sovietkitsch 0
Yikes, that must suck to be chased be a squirrel.
shakemup 0
Wow, You're a pussy
kashman95 1
I would have fun with it any up fir kick squirrel
Glam_fml 0
Ha! I never thought squirrels would chase you back. I could totally picture this. They probably were diseased, now that I think about it.
ChelseaAnn08 0
Or just crazy. Being chased by squirrels is a common occurance on the KSU campus. One challenged me earlier this week. I seriously thought it was going to jump out of tree.
evan_789 7
Ydi for having sex!!!!
pokemonGINGA 0
Haha squirrels can be rather ferocious at times.
SortaBlack 0
Lols that sux
plexico 4
Them Texas squirrels can be mighty ornery -- they go right for the nuts! I reckon you best leave the squirrel-chasing to the dogs. You ain't never heard of a dog being called a pussy, have ya?
SchitzoFRIENDic 0
Ummmm I don't know if you actually talk like this or not, but if not, you do know that most people from Texas (like me) don't actually talk like that, right? I don't even have an accent... Stop watching western movies (The only real life. Horse I've ever seen was in New York.). And yes, some of the squirrels here are huge, but it's only around the Texas A&M area. Over there, they're like cats. If that's where it was, OP... Ouch.
plexico 4
You are right that a lot of people in Texas don't talk like that, but there are still plenty that do, even here in the big city. I've known a lot of well-educated Texans who speak without an accent who still use "reckon," "fixin' ta," and "y'all" and put the emphasis on the first syllable of UMbrella and INsurance (most Americans say umBRELLa and inSURance.) So, I was exaggerating, but not lying.