Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
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Top comments
mister_moops 0
lol. did they bite?
netbeui435 3
scary.
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Comments (101)
Qup 0
be careful. they could be rabid I've never heard of squirrels doing anything but running. i guess it's the fight or flight response.
niki13_fml 0
haha =)
divineinstrument 2
They're squirrels. They're not exactly dangerous.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
You say that because you were never bitten by a crazed squirrel with rabies that jumped at you out of nowhere... Not to mention that the little things are sometimes too fast and unpredictable to be able to easily kick them away or anything.
urmomsass 0
its Freds little squirrel things! and #14, **** OFF theres nothin wrong with Texas, if I was you I would burn all my westerns, the only retards in Texas are the aggies and even THEY dont talk like that, unless of course theyre wannabe rednecks
bleh993 0
I dont know about everyone else, but I'm kinda getting tired of those FMLs starting off saying "Today I learned if I (insert an action to do), that (insert a completely crazy outcome).
master565 0
how would u find that out
glassisass 0
dude squarrils arnt that bad. i chase them all the time and they never attack me back
bambii101 0
@ 26 way to spell squirrels. You idiot. And the OP thay sucks man!
AshleyRose784 0
I HATE squirrels! I've been chased through central park by those little *******, it's not fun
TabbyWabby_0016 4
Man, that sucks. =(
saber2138 0
wow your real ****** retarded ps. Texas sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!