Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML
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Top comments
AholeCop 11
Catapoop? Trebushit?......sorry
foshizzle82 7
That's okay, think of it as compost.
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Comments (138)
theartists 5
Kids will be kids.
boating_guy 33
Props to him. I think that's pretty awesome, especially to do that at 6.
hotshot2626 9
Agreed with the awesome comment. You can almost hear the neighbors now... "honeyyy I think somethings wrong with dog."
fml121785 14
I would be proud!
MrLookAtThere 10
This kid is definitely going places!
X_Codes 11
Knowing my neighbors, I wish I thought of this first.
joshszz_fml 4
Congratulations!! If you plan this right for the next 12 years or so, you could have a wealthy politician or lawyer son supporting your retirement..
GypsyRover 0
The sad part is he had to have learned this from his parents. How would you like your nabbers chucking there dog shit on your lawn? If this is the case,you are pathetic OP.
sincerelyjay 13
This kid has earned the name, Scumbag Son.
crudeandrudeguy 29
BWAHAHA. Your kids awesome.
foshizzle82 7
That's okay, think of it as compost.
172pilot 20
Your picture is perfect for this post... Just saying
RadikulRam 16
Not sure how to feel for knowing this, but due to excessive amounts of pathogens in human manure you can't safely use it as compost, unless you treat it with some chemicals.
AholeCop 11
Catapoop? Trebushit?......sorry
kathuzada 6
Balshita
honeycutt0998 5
You hold have stopped at catapoop.
ASD_K 11
He probably used inershit.
angrymexican 8
Howshitzer.
thathipsterchick 2
Hey, at least he's helping the environment (er, neighbors) by giving them free fertilizer :D
junkman6 22
Since its an American kids turd it's more likely to kill a plant than fertilize it.
thathipsterchick 2
I kno, I just had to write that one :p my bro actually came up with it
theartists 5
5: So a French kid's turd is supposed to make a plant flourish? No need to discriminate here.
mikeofthunder 13
You kidding?! Discriminating is fun! Count your lucky stars he's not Korean. That ************ would've blown!
tialeanne 19
You taught him well!
MormonPornstar 7
Yeah, what's the FML here?
fernclogger 5
Fertilizer?
LiyIa_fml 8
Your son will be going place in the world!
cosmosis 12
Stay in school, learn to spell and you could be too!
KrazieKleo 13
Where will he go?!? Damn mystery place.
annerz374 6
I think you mean "to". "Too" applies an abundance, whereas "to" is a synonym of "as well" which would be more appropriate in that sentence.
cosmosis 12
43- i think you are a tad confused there my friend. Your descriptions are the opposite way around.
foshizzle82 7
43 tried to come across as intellectual but failed.
daminantion 14
I don't know about you, but I don't keep dictionaries in the kitchen. Props for a girl who tries! ;)
foshizzle82 7
You don't need a dictionary to know that, it's elementary.
MrLookAtThere 10
Although 43 was wrong, too does indicate if something is excessive, and it also means 'also'. To is for direction or verbs.
WritingWrongs 8
-53 my dear watson
terrykayez 6
43 - how much fail can there be in the world??
annerz374 6
Well, that's the last time I attempt to make a witty comment on FML...
xxdark 3
Shh.. Just don't attempt to correct someone unless you legitimately understand your correction!! Grammar Nazi imposter!
KVKdragon 26
I think it's time for a nice scolding and grounding period for your son /:|
theartists 5
Grounding a six year old? From what, his toy cars?
KVKdragon 26
Whatever works lol :P I don't get why my comment got thumbed down so much. Do we actually want to encourage this kind of behavior (as funny as it is)? :/
Tsunami87 17
Where did he learn this vile trick? I'd nip this habit in the bud op
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
My assumption would be that he heard the words "shit" and "neighbors" in the same sentence from mommy and daddy :)
Donnakar 20
Are they Bad Neighbors ?