Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
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Top comments
mister_moops 0
lol. did they bite?
netbeui435 3
scary.
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Comments (101)
emily_woosley642 0
Squirrels really can be scary! I once raised one from a baby, (The mom had gotten ran over outside my house and it was still nursing) At first it was very sweet and not afraid of me at all, but the old it grew the crazier it got. Eventually when it got old enough to release back into the wild it would literally try to chase me around the room. It would climb all over me when I tryed to take it out of the cage and I would go to school covered in very obvious scratchs. People thought It was from ruff sex. Theyre terrifying balls of fluff if youre not careful
vdubz 0
YDI for being overpowered by squirrels... If the average human fought a squirrel, the human would win.
urmomsass 0
#32, did u know we were talking very quietly about seceding from the US, Chuck Norris even joked about running fer President if we did! but anyway, i use aint and yall all the time, and i live in the city, ive actually heard more 'western' accents in Louisiana than Texas...
Hockeylover87_71 0
I agree with #81
tmanapoo 0
get a gun
Aj_teh_cool 0
agree with 34
WhyworldWhy 0
DROPKICK...OVER THE FENCE! GOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!!!
Vishpal 0
I find it funny that you said they chase you, because that would mean you were running away from squirrels XD
Kitten_122 0
haha, thats great get a hose...but about the Texas accent stuff...My boyfriends from Texas and has an accent
cellycrunk 16
that would be so effin cool <3 that's when ya cage em!