Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML
pabj208 tells us more.
pabj208 23
OP here. Thanks for the comments everyone, you'll be pleased to hear that today I did phone up the restaurant posing as 'a member of the girl's team' (which is technically true), as I didn't want to identify myself. I can take a bit of banter as much as the next person, and although I'm sure it was meant as a joke, it certainly crossed a line. I thought I'd say something to his manager in case he repeated his actions to someone less capable of standing up for themselves than me! You never know who he might try it with again... The (female) owner was horrified and said she was furious with the waiter, who had apparently worked there for 20 years. She'll be having a chat with him later on and offered me and 'the girl' (also me!) a free pizza each. I don't think I'll be taking them up on the offer! Oh, and my team were lovely about it- after the shocked silence they all agreed that he crossed a line and were very supportive :)
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Top comments
peceout 29
You should tell the manager. Thats not acceptable behavior from the waiter.
dakatabg 31
What a creep
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Comments (69)
khoov19 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
it's all fun and games until someone gets rufied
bombielol 20
??????
Sethan01 24
@#1 Roofied?
1dvs_bstd 41
ruffled?
patrickalamo 48
as in feathers ruffled...
kazthesb 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He is making reference to rohypnol( I think that's how it's spelled) it's commonly known as the "date rape drug" hahahaha
hoodiewear365 9
#53 we know, it's just that he spelled it wrong.
PurpleMyth 28
What in the literal ****? "Hahahahaha???!!!!!"
khoov19 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yes, I misspelled the word I didnt think this was a composition class. I did think however we were here for laughs. obviously everyone knew where I was headed with that. sorry for such an atrocious error in syntax.
fortune789 17
It's all fun and games until someone gets their jimmies rustled.
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
welcome to the internets my son
LilsBills300 19
I'm gonna go watch The Hangover now.
ByeTech 10
In what world is a rape joke flirting? What's wrong with you?
dakatabg 31
What a creep
redrain567 16
He *could* have meant taking advantage as in billing her more, but then again that's not likely because she was with a group...
peceout 29
You should tell the manager. Thats not acceptable behavior from the waiter.
Just_A_Tree 20
Small, cute flirting = okay Small hints at rape = not okay One time I had a waiter tell me that we should go out and get a beer... She seemed to be in her 40's, I'm 17... The awkwardness was so heavy, you could sink a ship with it.
CS_Pats 9
That's what one might call a milf
Jinxsie 27
More like a Couger.
Jinxsie 27
*Cougar FML crashed before I could edit. -_-
ApparentlyNotEno 28
Since when does "take advantage of" = rape?! Alcohol lowers inhibitions, and a lot of people find themselves more amenable to having fun with someone after a few drinks. As I read it, I don't think he was making reference to forcing himself on her at all. Perhaps it's my Irish sensibilities, but I've been in exactly the same situation and was flattered that the girl was coming on to me. Of course, I wasn't there, and perhaps the tone of the comment as coming from the server was more sinister, whether intended or not. But I don't think the remark was, in and of itself, offensive.
Aimeejasmine 15
Oh my god no.. If OP had gotten drunk she wouldn't have been able to consent to sex, if they'd gotten very drunk they probably wouldn't have been aware they were having sex. The waiter acknowledged this and not only suggested to having sex without consent with OP but talked so lightly of rape (I hope you're aware now that they're referring to rape as the definition of rape is non- consented sex) to a literal stranger as if it was a commonplace thing.. Completely out of order, they should've been fired.
domolovesyoshi 33
Personally taking advantage of someone whose completely inebriated is morally wrong
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Am I the only one that didn't jump to rape but immediately thought drunk people tip better? As a server who works in a place where people may consume alcohol I find that the more alcohol people consume the more likely they are to over tip due to forgetting how to do math. All it takes is a couple extra smiles at bad jokes and suddenly you've earned a twenty dollar tip on a thirty dollar meal.
teentee401 37
Not acceptable from the waiter? More like not acceptable from anyone
michaelaranda 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
While im sure your waiter just meant to make a harmless joke, i think you shouldve tipped him less or talked to his manager, because it was kind of inappropriate.
sleepisweak 22
kind of? that's a tad bit more than kind of.
Flyndaran 10
If suggesting raping a customer isn't enough to get a zero tip, what on earth is to you?
NOTaDISTRACTION 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow, so now making a rape joke is equivalent to raping someone?
kaitieloo 22
Kind of actually yes.
NOTaDISTRACTION 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm gonna shoot you... Oh no now I'll go to jail for murder
knightofdarkness 21
good thing you didn't order a drink. considering what his intentions may have been.
jttorkildson 21
"If you're a creep, how am I supposed to tip you later?"
jerryj 27
You can't single-handedly award the internet like that.
allplayedout 20
Yea, there's a whole committee you have to go through first
lex1459 38
That kind of behaviour is unacceptable. I hope you told his manager, and I hope that you ordered took whatever you were drinking and threw it in his face.
lex1459 38
*took whatever you were drinking, sorry!
ElectroThunder28 16
How do you know it was a him?
Vegetarian27 24
Because it says "waiter", not "waitress".
bearstyle22 11
Do Not take the roofee-calada
bombielol 20
Why cant i stop laughing at this??????
sicksadworld1317 30
Giggity!
imtoohighforthis 8
I accidentally disliked this comment I meant to click like T_T
xivoricbutterfly 25
I love when the waiters make witty jokes, I hope you checked for drugs in your drink
Purexinsanity 46
How on earth is that a "witty joke"? It wasn't funny at all, just creepy
xivoricbutterfly 25
I was hoping people understood that I was joking
WCARlover 35
I waitress and I could not imagine even thinking of saying something like that 0_o
SystemofaBlink41 27
I agree that there's a double standard, but the real problem is saying any of that at all. Unless you thoroughly know the person you're talking to and they know your sense of humor and your intentions, this is a pretty inappropiate thing to say.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
"The problem is the double standard. Man says that to woman, woman thinks the man is a creep. Woman says that to man, "hey, I might get lucky!" " That's not a double standard. A double standard would be a man getting in trouble for saying that because a woman complained to management but a woman not getting in trouble for saying that when a man complained about them saying it. What you described is just a difference in what men and women consider being flirting versus sexual harassment. That's not something people can control. As a woman I can't control how a man thinks any more than he can control how I think. Therefore there are certain things, such as what this server said, that you shouldn't say unless you know how someone will react.
MiaTheMartian 21
No one should harass anyone like that, don't complain that some people get in trouble more often for saying terrible things like that.