Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Today, I hooked up with a friend. I expressed an interest in it becoming something more. He expressed an interest in not telling anyone and pretending it never happened. FML
Today, I found out that the “stranger” I’ve been confessing my kinky, dark, and disgusting fantasies to online is a friend from high school, who figured out it was me by the third sentence. Now I'm praying she has a heart. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML
Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML
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Top comments
xOpheliacx 0
So? Nothing to be ashamed of.
ChefBoy6382 0
Wanna hook up?
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Comments (90)
Twin_Uzis 0
Haha! Nice.
dakotalesmercy 6
ouch.
kayladance101 13
best FML ever.
Mnemic 6
lol nasty! But I think a lot of people secretly like that kind of stuff. :)
pleasetryagain 0
How is that nasty? It's a normal thing. Tons of people are into it, and things that are a LOT worse. Besides, how is it THAT bad that a friend knows? If he's really a friend he's won't tell everyone. OR- if people do find out you can find yourself a girl who's into that too.
Mnemic 6
Ehm my 'nasty' didn't apply to that the OP actually like to be tied up but the actual FML. I bet she felt pretty screwed after that. Its nothing to be ashamed of indeed. :)
ForestFire0 1
#17 This was written by a woman. Nothing was mentioned about lesbianism. But if she is, that would make her the most awesome FMLer ever.
CaptainBaconMan 0
I think It's weird myself Oh shit! I forgot people aren't allowed to have opinions!
Icalasari 0
#17: One example: Vore In other words, being turned on by the idea of being eaten alive, eating others alive, or observing someone else getting eaten alive
Ghostalker 0
I think people who aren't into kinky sex are weird "normal" ex gets boring after a while
emodude44 0
You can act out the extreme fetishes in roleplay.
xOpheliacx 0
So? Nothing to be ashamed of.
kath91 0
You should've pretended you were joking too
heyyou1203 0
ha ha, my friends do stuff like that to me all the time. but hey, no shame in being kinky :-)
jonnymohio 2
Go with it. Make it even more outrageous than he describes and then he'll think it was ALL a joke. And your secret is safe.
MaiLouIsLegend 0
How's this a FML? Cause you made a fool out of yourself with your friend? Lame
ChefBoy6382 0
Wanna hook up?
volleyballgirl16 0
i was thinking the same thing but thats hilarious but that turns me on too XD
DietBroccoli 0
Nothin' quite as hot as a kinky/feisty girl ;)
drkwlf 0
Um.. so what if you like to get tied up? Are you some sort of bible banger? What the **** is this shit? I wonder if the people who actually let these go by are all just 14 years old, or if that's the sort of audience they want. If so, **** that.
BikerMike 0
whip me beat me teach me love use me abuse me make me feel wanted
KarelPhoenix 0
I agree with #4. But also. Its more fun that way. ;]