Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my girlfriend’s young daughter sleepwalks. I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, only to be greeted in the dimly lit hallway by her creepy silhouette. I yelped like a bitch and dropped the glass on my foot, breaking two toes. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
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Top comments
thatnakedguy 17
No punchline?
Cads1 24
I am sure you did some thing to upset her in her dreams.
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Comments (43)
djm2010 8
Punch her back. I'm sure that would wake her up.
Redoxx_fml 22
And that ladies and gentlemen is what's wrong with the world
gqlmno 23
Well what's the point of equality then? I'm not saying I'd punch her back but women have been fight for equality for a long time now and with a lot of scenarios in mind the out come is very different when changing the sex of the offender and victim
BrutalEater 15
Let's all hope she is actually asleep OP!
earlytermination 34
I kick in my sleep. She's not aware when she's doing it so you need to prepare accordingly.
brycemash 9
Punch her back
Odiz747 23
"Sleep" punching
mads_nicole 19
At least it was the face, I've heard of this happening to guys but getting punched in the dick instead
worldclassrager 41
Well the downside of this is you can fight back...maybe see if she can wear something over her hands at night
viggysmallz 8
At least your girlfriend doesn't sleep piss like my husband. And I don't mean wetting the bed. I have caught him sleep pissing in the corner, the trash can, a laundry basket, and once, he made it to the bathroom but failed to open the lid and just pissed on it, splashing iron everywhere.
VeganDarkLight 31
Your husband pisses iron? Now that's impressive!
KaidensCrow 18
Lol.. my husband does this sometimes... snoring away and then punched me or the wall... I also have to make sure that there are no pocket knives or a my thing. around while he's sleeping... he took a nap one day, he was sleeping really deep and. grabbed a knife and put it through the wall. ;) so he makes me take away any and all knives before we go to bed
JD1147 27
Yours punches in her sleep, mine punches when she's awake... Seems a guy can't win either way