Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Sleeping in same bed with daughter+kicker+nightmares= oh damn thats gotta hurt!!!
angelinaanimerg 7
U don't get it. Supernatural is very addicting you can't stop watching no matter how scary it is!!! I couldn't sleep for first 2 seasons
redbluegreen 41
The first two seasons are also notoriously known for being the scariest of the seven.
angelinaanimerg 7
U don't get it. Supernatural is very addicting you can't stop watching no matter how scary it is!!! I couldn't sleep for first 2 seasons
mintstashinurtea 5
tell her to grow up and become her own damn person while kicking her out of your bed, someone in the family needs to grow some balls, may as well start with you.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Don't you feel all high and mighty for insulting someone who can't defend themselves over the internet?
EnterSandman_fml 20
I remember that one well. The only one that ever had me slightly spooked though was the one with the inbred family in Pennsylvania. Considering a couple of the strange households within half an hour of me, that had me scared shitless.
NERDSUNITE92_fml 8
I don't blame her, Supernatural is amazing and Jensen Ackles is so hot.
CptZoe 10
Nah man, Mischa is the way forward!
NERDSUNITE92_fml 8
Nooooooo, Jensen Ackles lol!!!!!!
jbabes3 5
Best comment everr! #lovesupernatural
itssjulia 13
I LOVE THAT SHOW!!!!!!
joytapper 3
I cant help with the x files... But with supernatural... If you mute the gory fighting screaming scenes... Less nightmares will ensue. :) Also... I WISH I went to A school where those shows made you cool!! At my school it was crap like jersey shore and a very potter musical. Don't ask me how they fit together but apparently they do! But yeah mute the screams and that way she can watch the show without missing anything important. Eventually she'll decide if it's something she really likes or she'll grow out of it.
Quiet_one 22
I'm glad I didn't go to your school. The people there must have been really obnoxious to ruin A Very Potter Musical for you - did you even have a chance to form your own opinion of it before they got into it and made it annoying? My roommate does this to every book, TV show or movie that gets suddenly popular, to the point that any future hype about it by anyone is only going to annoy me because I've had to put up with her raving about it, quoting it, and making obscure references to it which she then explains whether I ask or not for weeks on end every time I'm in a room with her. It used to be Twilight, then it was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, then the Hunger Games. Now it's Game of Thrones. I don't know what bandwagon she'll jump on next, but I can guarantee it's going to be irritating. If the people at your school were anything like that, I feel really sorry for you. Jersey shore on the other hand... I've only ever seen about 2 minutes of it, and that was by accident. Never again. Now THAT is some grade A crap. I guess maybe I can see it being a guilty pleasure, but why would you admit that in public? How does that make you popular? People are weird.
donut_gurl 8
well tell her if shes growm up enough to watch the sows, shes grown up enough to sleep in her own bed.
seaweedlady 0
Calling your own kid a "brain-dead conformist" for wanting to fit in at school is a bit much.
unlikexthexrest 1
This lady takes tough love to a new high.