Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
talia_omfg 9
Supernatural is an amazing show I must say :)
CptZoe 10
You already did say.
littlemissalex 3
I've never seen the X-Files, but I've watched Supernatural since I was 12, and it's never scared me. How old is your daughter? However, I can definitely see the appeal of Supernatural to any girl. Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins and Jared Padalecki are all ridiculously hot.
McNerdyNerd 8
Look...all you people saying 'Parental Block' and keep track of your kids...for ALL we know, the girl is like, 17. I'm sorry, but there is a time you have to get your kids off your tit and let them make their own decisions. Don't let her sleep in your bed, and she'll learn from this mistake. You keep coddling her like a 2 year old, and she will always act this way. Sorry to be mean to everyone, but the best you can do is raise your kids right, and hope to god they remember their lessons of right from wrong and stupid from sensible when the time comes. That is all.
Alec115 4
The fact that you called your own daughter a "brain-dead conformist" really makes you sound like a wonderful parent.
jayhawk9000 5
Hipsters shouldn't breed.
ReptarTheStar 6
Not sure if sarcasm or just funny...... X)
jayhawk9000 5
I do say F your life for her new sleeping habits, but, "brain-dead conformist"? Really? You almost deserve it for being a pretentious ass.
hateevryone 15
She shouldn't watch it then.
Meowingtons500 18
Itskaylabitch- Your username implies your name is Kayla, yet your profile states it is indeed Madison. So which one is it, Kayla or Madison?
The_Weirdo 10
I watched similar TV shows when I was young, they didn't screw me up. Oh...wait.
micahsmommy 13
Guess my son isn't cool, but at least he's a non-conformist. He stopped sleeping with mommy at about three months old. (well he still naps with me sometimes but that is still allowed right?)
The_Weirdo 10
I always liked the episode with the Jersey devil in it, and let's not forget the long gunman episodes.