Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (289)
kileypalmer 0
Peer pressure.. That sucks. Well is she fitting in now?
zayn_malik 4
Haha.. I used to kick my mom too when I slept in her bed!!! Who else? :)
gooberz69 0
I never slept with my mom perv. Jk lulz
THE_A_TEEN 28
Your attempt to look cool just made me give out my biggest facepalm on FML for a dumb comment.
mintcar 10
Just make sure you're controlling what she's watching online and on T.V. That's all.
alexup24 13
Exactly how old is OP's daughter? Anyone else wondering?
mars13_fml 8
And that is one reason why you shouldn't have kids or at least keep track of what your kid is doing
un1corns 15
Because her daughter watched a show that ended up scaring her, OP shouldn't be a parent? That makes so much sense..
mars13_fml 8
Sorry I meant one reason I'm not having kids. It didn't come out right when I typed it, sorry :/
KiddNYC1O 22
Redbluegreen would love this!
redbluegreen 41
Hehehe.
lowshadows 21
supernatural's awsome!
Cad6 24
Kid's these days want a little more from their parents...maybe a bit too much more.
WhyAmUHere 19
Is X-Files even on anymore?
immaMonsta 8
Not as far as I know, but it's on Netflix
EnterSandman_fml 20
There are also repeats on BBC America. I used to love that show as a kid.
2oc 5
That wincest meme or whatever it is will never be funny. Please just let it disappear...