Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Today, my mom is obsessed with my academic success, as she was a highschool dropout, and actually gives me more homework than my school does, all so I’ll be more advanced than my peers. I barely know what a television is anymore, since it’s been so long I’ve had enough free time to watch one. FML
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML
Today, I accidentally left my bedroom light on all day. When I got home, my mum screamed at me for wasting electricity. This is the same woman who leaves the TV on all day while she’s at work, all so our dogs have something to watch and won't be “bored”. FML
Today, my mother went on another rant about the Smart TV not working. Instead of turning it off and on like she's been told to do before, she'll sit and complain about it. Even fixing it for her doesn't stop her complaining for another half-hour about technology. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
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Top comments
yourlifesfucked 0
If she wants someone with morals, better try some other channel...
Livencountry 5
Leave her tv on the parenting channel, might help.
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Comments (65)
heyhihello95 12
Yea, she can keep dreaming...
hannahcorrine 0
Like hearing how congress ruled pizza a vegetable?
NeatNit 33
Your mother is dumb (or desperate) but for all we readers know, she might be right. Maybe you do need to learn some morals and/or common sense. YDI
jillianmathers12 13
The only reason why I watch fox is for the Simpsons
SillyFart 7
Family guy*
nixter5 18
Fox is so unbelievably biased. All those trolls that comment and blame Obama for everything probably watch Fox every night.
criminalmindsfan 0
60- so true!!!!
t765234 10
60- not to turn this into a poltical debate, but wht has obama actually done that is positive for the nation.
margie2194 12
Has Glenn Beck infiltrated your mind yet?
HatefulPilot 0
I watch Fox news. You have to decide what to believe. if I hear something that sounds outrageous, I'll research it. I generally like it because they have hot blonde news anchors. ;)
lmw562 3
If it wasn't for fox or kabc people wouldn't know about solyndra and operation fast and furious would have been forgotten.
hubla 0
Anon?!?!?
Icejza_DaChilla 7
Actually when FOX was first conceived in the Reagan administration they were originally going to call it GOPTV.. You know, "fair and balanced". RepubLieCons are deceptive lying lethargic devils and if you believe the crap they are spoon feeding you then please wake up and come back to humanity, we miss you. Listen to Thom Hartmann, it'll help.
SexyHindu 2
83-Amen... Get him out of office ASAP. He hasn't done shit
angely_fml 4
83- something bush failed to do. Bring more than half our troops from Iraq. And semi-officially ending the war.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Sexyhindu and #83, America out of iraq, osama dead, economy starting to stabalize. What has bush done? Ruined this country. Don't bring the "**** OBOZO" yahoo comments to fml. Get your crap out of here!!!!
midnightxloner 1
Ok 113- how about 6.5 trillion dollars of debt alone, pushing his health care through which is turning out to be completely unconstitutional and trying to push SOPA. Open your eyes
THE_A_TEEN 28
Sorry, politics are not my thing. I just stated what the good is, not the bad. That "open your eyes" or "wake up" doesn't work on me. I'm more concerned about my own life. **** mainstream news media.
laxbro182 1
Hey 142! He added 5 trillion in 8 years. Read up you ignorant person! Obama added 4 trillion in 2 and a half years. That's more per year than Bush. You sir Fail
THE_A_TEEN 28
Shut up, laxbro. He **** up the country with "no child left behind". Blame obama all you want, but at least he didn't start the most wars america has fought in existance and force idiots to graduate high school with barely any skills. Fucktard...
laxbro182 1
Haha clearly you are not very involved in the world. Who spoon feeds you this garbage? Please go be ignorant somewhere else.
yourlifesfucked 0
If she wants someone with morals, better try some other channel...
frokeyman92 9
There is no others. All our damn media is shit
MagicGiraffe 12
I fall asleep to Family Guy, some great morals there.
yourlifesfucked 0
I'm assuming OP is talking about Fox news. But I agree, our mainstream media is trash. All human interest and opinionated bullshit. Try BBC if you can get it in your area.
redbluegreen 41
Watching MLP: FiM might be easier.
upyourzlolz 11
Yeah. Maybe OP will turn into Fluttershy. That would be awesome.
yourlifesfucked 0
What's a Fluttershy? Is it like a Ponyta?
fizzypop14 3
I hope your 21 or you can't vote for him
yourlifesfucked 0
Huh? I'm American, voting age is 18 here.
unitedfan11 0
Fox news is probably the most opinionated bullshit I have ever seen. Doesn't get more biased than that
Llama_Face89 34
53- Nah that's Twilight Sparkle. She evolved into a Rapidash.
mozeltov 7
BBC is just as bias as fox, crap news station
mpsteve137 15
Maybe some Peter griffin will rub off onto you. That would be good
_daniellesays_ 10
Or some Allen Gregory, that'd work too.
Livencountry 5
Leave her tv on the parenting channel, might help.
willb2107 0
Genius
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
At least its not MSNBC. Rick Perry 2012! :D
yourlifesfucked 0
LOL. Politically retarded troll is politically retarded.
THEKAISER 4
Relax, he can have opinions too
The_Weirdo 10
I'm from Texas and I don't even like Perry.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Perry isn't for everyone. But he's way better (in my opinion) than Obama, and there's no need to get all pissy or thumbs down and ridicule my beliefs just because you disagree. If you don't like him, don't vote for him.
yourlifesfucked 0
Oh no I'm not making fun of you because I think Perry is a terrible candidate ( for the record, I do). I'm making fun of you because there is no way he will win the primary. And also, I figured you were trolling because, well... Youizbatroll.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I didn't say Perry would win, I just like him :P On the basis of intelligence and electability, he has no chance in Hell, but I, being the redneck cracka I am think he would be a great guy to lead our country :)
FMLandurstoo 9
Everybody stop hating on conservatives. Fox news isnt the only biased news network. CNN is even worse in the opposite direction. Don't turn this into a political battle. It's not about that. Just blame the moms stupidity for thinking she can change someones mind subconsciously.
yourlifesfucked 0
He lost any credibility with me when he said that the military fought for the right for gay marriage to be banned.
flockz 20
what is this political bullshit?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
He has been a little too harsh on the gays for my taste, but that just comes with the territory of most right wing extremists. We already live in a tolerant society, so not voting for someone on that issue alone would just be stupid when we have a nation that's failing economically and stuff :P
DocBastard 40
Flockz, just close your eyes and slowly back away. *sticks fingers in ears* LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
samikitty961 8
i think that whoever is in charge of closing the comments probably has similar political views with the majority of the commenters on here.
every1luvsboners 11
I think that spoon you're holding is freaking huge. Where can I get one of those?
MerkathonPro 0
Watching tv makes you smarter? What...?
KyuuketsukiApple 30
I don't see anything about being smarter...? The FML only mentions morality but either way, FOX will certainly not make you smarter lol.
RedPillSucks 33
Or moral. Talk about WWJND (What Would Jesus Not Do).
Justforlolz 14
Yea lol. I wach tv a lot n im prety smart. Lol I'm so smart I dont even haf 2 go 2 scewl. Every1 nos that 1+1=3 lol nub.
Spoonz 4
Well?
umm_Talk 9
Fox....of all networks?
yourlifesfucked 0
Your pic matches this comment so well... Your face is like. The f**k is this s**t?
meganfoxsbitch 0
Turn hers to CNN.
Sniper3000 0
Lol that's funny
zombicidal 11
It MSNBC
The_Mooinator 4
CNN is so bias its not even funny.
zombicidal 11
the hell I totally typed or not it
morganrules123 10
CNN is the liberal Fox lol
margie2194 12
All news channels are biased. Fox is right wing. MSNBC is left wing, and CNN always goes against the party in power, so actually nowadays they are quite right wing... But CNN is arguably the least biased.
Sniper3000 0
And how will fox help?