Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
omzz05 2
**** you and your dad
missalkali 8
82- your profile picture works surprisingly well with your comment in an incredibly twisted way
kristindabomb 12
Brain dead conformist? Wow you don't sound like a bitch @ all
mandahoney 0
Don't let her sleep with you. You're the parent. I'm assuming she's older than 5, so sharing a bed with a parent is ridiculous. If she's under 5, don't let her watch that shit.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
126 - I'm guessing that's you in your profile pic? You are screwed up!
TKello 6
I'm sorry, but I think those are two very good shows. Especially the X-files, it's a classic! But if she's getting nightmares, then she needs to stop watching them. Especially X-files since that one is more hard-core, Supernatural is similar to Buffy and Angel in my opinion where it's more delightful supernatural drama than horror.
bobbos100 2
So who is watching her while she watches TV? And where r u? It's your own fault for not supervising her properly.
ReptarTheStar 6
Assimilate! Give in to the pressure! Heil hitler! Wait..... Wtf?? Jk not really that is ******* stupid. Anyways, sorry Brodie. Wear a cup to bed :P
PestilentAura 0
Where the hell does your kid go to school at that watching Supernatural and X-Files helps her fit in?? o_O
PsychoticAsylum 26
Wait till she gets her hands on a copyof The Human Centipede..
PsychoticAsylum 26
*Copy of