Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (289)
WazUpItzRyan 0
At least it isnt Twilight
gooberz69 0
Wrong
KeyboardWarrior 10
So nice you had to post it twice!
HolaJessicaHola 0
How do those shows help her stick in at school? Shouldn't it be 90210 and Pretty Little Liars?
redbluegreen 41
It really depends on what sort of people OP's daughter wants to fit in with. When I was in middle and high school, Twilight wasn't popular yet and everyone was going nuts over Buffy, The Twilight Zone, and CSI. Everyone I know now watches Supernatural, The X-Files, American Horror Story, and The Walking Dead religiously.
HolaJessicaHola 0
True, kids will do anything to fit in! Even being scared every night.
annejayy 7
Who cares if she conformed..? Supernatural is AMAZING.
gooberz69 0
Let her deal with the consequences of her actions. If she's gonna watch those shows she should be able to handle the dark. If she can't she'll learn not to watch.
Damn_Hippster 11
I was sleeping in my parents bed before it was cool...
ToTaLg 0
where are u from?
monkeyhead641 6
The x files isn't cool anymore. Your daughter is just stupid. Also you need to know that if your daughter is watching tv shows to be cool she is just jumping on the bandwagon. Explain to her that no one is cool or uncool.
troubledkitty 3
Haha