Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
the7thchild 6
never having kids
DiscoRanger 0
Not all kids are kickers!
WaSiSimiLang 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I have no idea why I'm saying this... But it's "never have kids". That being said, the next point is, why not? Just because of one fml story about 1 particular conforming child? Kids are mostly cute and fun to interact with... With a few exceptions of course...
WaSiSimiLang 8
Oops sorry, just realized you were saying it as you are "never having kids", so just cancel out the first part
bjulie1998 5
Who watches "The X-Files" anymore? Haha me.
MigraineurOfLife 15
What if your parents said that? You wouldn't be here. Never say never...
hawkey126 0
I don't think I've even heard of either of those...
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
Vanilla1Thrilla 0
It's funny. Quite a few people I know who always said they're "never having kids" ended up pregnant not too long out of high school. Keep that in mind.
metalwolf 17
80- I said I would never be an apartment mover and I would never be a security officer. That is most of my resume. Both jobs were practically handed to me. I have learned my lesson. Now I only say "I will never be rich" *crosses fingers and works to make it come true*
GovernorGeneral 8
Omggggg x-files!!!!! That show used to scare the **** out of me but i kept watching xD Brings back memories~
tdog567 0
I thought kids were too busy with their Disney channel and icarly to watch the x files
cureemu 3
1- I enjoy your username.
yourdevilmaybeme 0
Smart guy "never having kids" is correct when talking about oneself
PrincessesCrown 17
"Maybe I would, if I didn't live here." (I'm so sorry i couldn't resist the temptation-Hunger Games)
PinkieKeen 20
If my daughter tried to sleep in my bed (if I ever have a daughter), I would get out of my bed and sleep in hers.
Unbeatable 0
Boom. First.
fuzz94 8
well, does she fit in now?
speshlk37 13
Watching X-Files wasn't even the cool thing to do when it was on TV. Just eat in the he'll part of Michigan are you from?
LO388 7
After watching The X-files? Only if she goes to school in 1997...
aaahhhfire21 0
Yah she fits in ops bed thats prolly it tho
NurseJonathan 9
What school is this? I wish I attended...
illmatic2 16
Well hopefully she'll be able to kick that habit.
ClassyCommando 13
If you want to do something really mean, tell her friends that she does this. She won't fit in any more after that. She will also hate your guts.
sammyf89 13
Maybe op isn't an asshole
ClassyCommando 13
It's getting hard to have any fun on this site now that everyone takes these comments so seriously.
SpikyG 3
Why would you ruin your own Daughters School Life?
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
Mischief109 11
I'm a Sam fan personally. But Jensen is gorgeous to!
NiveaKK 9
Agreed! Even the guy who plays Castell. They're all so gorgeous,who wouldn't want to watch this show?
chelseaaababyyy 17
amen, 7, amen (: cas is my favorite tho !
sillycart 9
20- me.
bjulie1998 5
Bitch please! David Duchovny for the win!!
MrSassypants 34
Call me a freak but the sexiest thing is Jensen Ackles' ankles. It is just so perfect. If you see him at the beach with shorts and flip flops you would have an ****** at the sight of those things.
MissHayleyJames 7
I've actually been to an awards ceremony for high school theater and Jensen was in town so he came and presented an award. I about died. Then on vacation in Maui Jared got off an elevator right in front of me. Once that happened I was like "See Sam and Dean in person. Check. My life is complete". But now I have to ad Mischa to that list too. One day...
BubbleGrunge 18
Dean, Sam, I'd take them both. Sighhhhhh
littlemissalex 3
Oh yes he is. Personally, I'm a bigger fan of Jared Padalecki. He's from my hometown, and I've met him a few times. He's the sweetest guy ever.
JinxedPixie 16
Sam is gorgeous!!
b0ngs 7
Both are orgasmic:3 unfunfunf
micahsmommy 13
Love Jared Padalecki but I fell in love with him as Dean in Gilmore Girls.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
I'd take Jensen, Jared, or Misha any day!
angelofsaturn 23
# 57- 100% this
kellyenna 0
Supernatural is amazing because of Jensen and Jared's hotness
greeneyedpothead 10
Jensen and Jared are the reason people keep watching the show lol. Their hotness beckons!!
icallbullshit 3
You guys watch tv shows JUST because of your attraction to the characters? Lol not even men are that shallow, I remember thinking how hot Nikita was but the storyline made me want to bash my head into a wall, just couldnt watch it no matter how attractive she is.
redbluegreen 41
Is spelling Misha and Castiel correctly really that difficult?
ShinedownLuv 14
Me and my friend are obsessed with supernatural, but we just like the show because sam is amazingly hot:)
Lunantic 6
I never got to watch it until a month ago, and I've so far crammed 4 seasons in 3 weeks. I love Jensen, Jared, and Misha so much it's practically unhealthy. Never seen a show I enjoyed so much. (:
MissHayleyJames 7
I apologize for spelling Misha incorrectly. Other than him, I've always seen it "Mischa" so it's just habit.
vivienmoore 0
Finally someone in the right mind! I personally LOVE Supernatural and it has helped me get over some of my irrational fears.
EricaGravalec 2
:D
Eleonore1_fml 0
Isn't that the truth!!
matt_mcg 2
I can't believe this got 161 thumbs up...
rummdugger 5
Isn't he though? * best crazed fangirl voice* back off he's mine! :)
hullingergr 7
My girlfriend is in love with Sam and dean and it drives me crazy but you can all think what you want. Personally I love the show but her obsession kinda makes it hard sometimes
DaniPandi 22
While the cast are all gorgeous, the show is actually pretty good. I don't solely watch it for appearance.
SuperWhoMarvLock 22
I LOVE Supernatural!!! :))
4everblackjack 10
Try explaining to her why there's no reason she should please anyone but herself & if that doesn't go well, call your cable company & just parental block the shows. She might hate you for a while but it's better for her that way.
someoneO_O 4
idk about x - files but Supernatural's not scary ...and plus all the creatures get killed by the end of the episode ......
Wicked361 8
Let's admit it all us Supernatural fans watch it for Jensen Ackels
betticonfetti 7
It isn't scary anymore, but the first two seasons had their share of frightening moments.
MissHayleyJames 7
It's not scary but still entertaining as hell. The humor in it is AWESOME.
MikeDa1Da 14
Have her watch Stephen King's Carrie
kittenvks 11
Or misery. * shudder*
Jaxx66 21
113, admittedly the only part in "Misery" that made me flinch away was when she hobbled the poor man. I personally think "Rose Red" was really good.
lolmigosh 15
... conformists... (goth kid from south park)
felisaa 5
Aww i'm not sure what's worse, that she's watching shows she doesn't like to fit in, or that you have to deal with her kicking. Good luck with that op. (: