Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
innermagpie 4
Sorry, she's watching X-Files to be cool at school? Does she go to a school in the 1990s? What else is "trendy" there, Starsky and Hutch and Robocop?
ALpein 0
I'm sorry everyone doesn't like what you like.
CptZoe 10
I don't recall x-files ever being what the cool kids watched! It's glorious though, as was Supernatural. Last couple seasons sucked though..
sillycart 9
Oh noor (or nope as autocorrect is telling me) I never get sick of ur comments. Ur one of my favorite people who comment.
katcot99 11
FML, man.
Helluurrr 9
"I found out my daughter has been watching..." lol you can't always control what your kids watch. Not a YDI because the parent found out when the kid started having nightmares.
CAJustise 9
Does your daughter go to school in the late 90's? How does X-Files help her fit in?
bizarre_ftw 22
You'd be surprised what's popular in high school these days; dr who, the lion king, anime, and scifi Oh and ESPECIALLY the rocky horror picture show and shadow cast Or is that just my school?
xZoeAmethystx 12
Obsession for the Rocky horror picture show is in EVERY high school. kinda scary how much people like it....
smallsmerry123 5
I'm surprised at how many people at my school dont like newer music, but like bands like the eagles, journey, and Boston. I thought I was the only one!
bizarre_ftw 22
Don't worry, as soon as she starts using drugs she won't care about the nightmares of her sleep, the nightmare of her reality will far surpass, and she probably won't be sleeping much anyway
bizarre_ftw 22
Hey *hands up* if the kid is a conformist
THE_A_TEEN 28
" Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school." Read the WHOLE FML and understand it next time. Comprendé?
Heinousness 0
Avoid that kind of crap, OP.
newburton13 26
If the whole sharing a bed thig persists, I'd just tell her she needs to live with the consequences of being a conformist.
THE_A_TEEN 28
" Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school." Read the WHOLE FML and understand it next time. Comprendé?