Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
docscientist 10
Maybe you should talk to your daughter about why she feels she needs to fit in. Is she being bullied? Is she trying to impress a boy? I know, it's a novel concept, but parenting is a good thing.
turtlehybrid 0
Kick her back and tell her to f**k of
FieldTripX1013 0
the mentioning of The X-Files makes me happy...nobody I know watches it...
icallbullshit 3
Work on parenting skills op, you owe it to your offspring
DMarie217 0
Why does it matter what her name is? If it was really that important should she or someone be concerned about her safety? (stalker)
DMarie217 0
Tell her she doesn't need some stupid tv shows to tell her how she should have to act to become popular that way u don't have to sleep with a kicking kid and she doesn't have nightmares :)
purebliss7 6
and how old is your kid?
thenewlautner 4
I'm surprised that the X-Files are still on... I honestly had no idea. I remember it from when I was little. I use to get nightmares... :(
ezelisko 1
Supernatural is an awesome show. X-Files was good in the day. Have you tried watching an episode or two with her? Might be a good bonding moment.
tigrouficele2012 44
"Brain-dead conformist"? Judgmental much? Getting into other people's interests so she'll have more to talk about with them isn't exactly selling her soul for popularity.