Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML
Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
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Top comments
whitedw 0
lol......well at least he didnt yell some other girl's name but still fyl
indoorsy 3
Now I anin't saying she's a gold digger...
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Comments (119)
whitedw 0
lol......well at least he didnt yell some other girl's name but still fyl
MetalxSoldier 26
I think what he meant to say is "leave my family jewels alone" I guess he doesn't want to get lucky tonight.
amyjadee 0
This really isn't an FML.
airforce987 20
27 - I agree. OP, you really have no idea what he was dreaming about, it could have been anything, a robbery, mugging, his company's fraudulent investment of his pension...anything! How does that make your life ****** at all, simply because your husband yelled in his sleep?
airforce987 20
... unless of course, he wasn't actually sleeping :)
taco_bender 12
Dont take the mans hard earned money then. Problem solved.
ss_20_xx 14
Well he might leave you for more money though. Just saying...
LolFMLnot 10
Then you should stop spending so much money. Your husband must really love you if he never mentioned this to you in person. **** his life
immaMonsta 8
Well, you're gonna listen to him, right?
ALlamaOnFire 20
Money is a code name for his penis
ladyLALAA 29
Nope you yell back "SHOW ME THE MONEY"
gators1995 30
Who knows? Maybe OP will turn in to a money grubbing *****
emeraldisle 30
I tried that once except mine elbowed me in the nose. Let's just say I won't be doing that again.
indoorsy 3
Now I anin't saying she's a gold digger...
K_kanaka 26
But she ain't messin' with no broke n%&#as
j_cat187 20
I heard that in the ODB's voice.
Palirose 22
Go ahead girl go ahead get down.
YayFlameWarz 9
Ima let you finish but...
ladyLALAA 29
Met shorty at the beauty salon, with a baby Louis under her underarm..
Jenchixo 1
From what I heard she got a baby from Busta my best friend said she used to **** with Usher ,
ladyLALAA 29
*vuitton. Oops don't know what happened to that above :$
Climaxx 11
It's really not that uncommon, SexyIslandGirl.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Why don't you girls use the reply buttons...?
eatdemcupcakes 4
Because they don't feel like it
cyK0tek 0
But...using the reply button...and...actually typing the WHOLE word takes SO much energy!
Climaxx 11
I was on my phone & it wouldn't let me. Sorry if it caused you too much hassel.
himynamesholly 0
well,do you excessively shop? maybe now is a good time to make him a sandwich.
RahmEsHestos 5
Or Just blow something other than his money
RahmEsHestos 5
Lmao that was comment 69
cyK0tek 0
^ FTW
himynamesholly 0
I see what you did there^^
GoWithTheFro 10
That's priceless xD
goldfishgod 20
Your username is great.
BunBunBabe 8
Unless you waste his money, that's pretty sad :( but if you do.. Maybe his subconscious is just yelling at you because he doesn't when he's awake
bungee_fml 9
Time to cut back the shopping!
perdix 31
If you blew something other than his money, maybe he wouldn't have this deep-seated hostility towards you.
RahmEsHestos 5
HVery well worded, haven't seen such a good comment in awhile