Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML
Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I don't make enough noise during sex. Then when we had sex again, I made the noises she wanted. She then broke up with me because, apparently, when I came, I screamed like a girl. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supervacaneous 4
Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.
lukep135 6
Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
hadeed 3
Put in her butt
vettle 6
Lol, I think thats more common than you think. I am quiet as a mouse during sex but a good massage from hubby makes me moan. Massages are pretty sexual though.
eccentrix 12
Maybe her massage noises and her sex noises sound different. F your life for belonging to someone who thinks their life sucks because their girlfriend likes their massages too much.
ememsee 4
Sounds like "sex sounds" should be called "massage sounds" now
SheepShoop_fml 20
Some of us are just really quiet during sex! I make more noise during a massage too, but it's not sex sounds.
Candice0687 0
Massages are the best if their done right which it like you did
irishlagger 5
I know that feel, OP. not only is that how my dates go, but my girlfriend sent me a link to this post... I think she wanted to tell me something.
prettygiirl13 3
Simply improve on your sexual abilities!
GothicAngel95 16
Maybe give her a massage during?
Travisty518 0
I hear yah on that one, the only ways can usually get my girlfriend to take her shirt off is if I offer her a back rub!