Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML
Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I don't make enough noise during sex. Then when we had sex again, I made the noises she wanted. She then broke up with me because, apparently, when I came, I screamed like a girl. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supervacaneous 4
Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.
lukep135 6
Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
xXSecondGuessXx 0
HAH. That sucks. But I'm a girl, and having my back massaged makes me moan sometimes. Still, I don't think your girlfriend is logical.
Lililthx 7
What does pleasure (or no pleasure) have to do with logic...?
RedPillSucks 33
@5 You forgot 5. ?????? 6. Profit!!!!!
kei1108 13
Only 30% of women can achieve ****** by penetration alone. Everyone likes different things!
JamesMusicus 2
Do both at the same time, see what happens.
Cablo_Gubla 2
If you suck that bad in bed, you might want to consider learning more about the ******. Read the Kama Sutra or something.
amsalwajih 0
Maybe u should utilize ur hands more than ur penis while having sex
halliemarie1818 5
My boyfriend is the same way-.-
KiddNYC1O 22
There's nothing like a good back rub/massage, bro.
iCagetheElephant 6
You must have magic fingers! You just need to use them a little bit lower... ;)
AbdLiverMadrid 1
show us pics or it didnt happen