Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML
Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I don't make enough noise during sex. Then when we had sex again, I made the noises she wanted. She then broke up with me because, apparently, when I came, I screamed like a girl. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supervacaneous 4
Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.
lukep135 6
Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
Paigopotomus 0
Today, I found the post my boyfriend said he put on FML about me. About our sex life. FML
Moonheart13 1
Hey at least you're pleasuring here ;)
j3ebrules 13
Me too!! :-(
xNephilim 19
Take it as a compliment. You give a hell of a massage apparently. Also, a bad sexual life can be fixed easily. It's called communication. Talk to her about what she likes sexually. OR she might just be too shy to make actual sex noises. It took me a while to get comfortable enough during sex to actually express it vocally. It's not that the sex is bad - I just thought it sounded weird and awkward if I actually moaned and all that, so I kept quiet.
sugarbear0727 19
I agree with 116. I was always extremely quiet because I was shy and just felt awkward making noise. But once I lived on my own and didn't have to worry about family or anything, I expressed myself a lot more vocally. And I agree with a lot of people, massages are just simply amazing. Try it as a warm-up for sex.
lokar_ogar 11
Try massaging her during sex
themaddoctor 11
Hehe I have the same thing usually have to start massaging her back then butt smooth sailing after that ?