Today, my girlfriend told me I don't make enough noise during sex. Then when we had sex again, I made the noises she wanted. She then broke up with me because, apparently, when I came, I screamed like a girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend asked me to tie her up and spank her while fucking her and calling her a slut. But heaven forbid I later scream at her during an argument. She wailed and gave me the silent treatment, all because I raised my voice. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me, saying I don’t make her happy, I don’t make her laugh, that she feels she is settling for me, and that she's not being pleased sexually. Even though she has always said I did all of that, and that we could work through anything. I was going to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Ha! They’re always setting us up to fail! You can’t win. One woman told me to talk dirty during sex, so I called her a “stupid, ******* piece of shit.” She dumped me. What the hell?!?! What the actual hell?!?!?
griddy24 18
Yah what is that with guys who are totally silent during sex? I hear this from other women too so I know it’s not cause I suck at sex. It’s so boring and unrewarding to **** someone who doesn’t signal any pleasure at all.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Ha! They’re always setting us up to fail! You can’t win. One woman told me to talk dirty during sex, so I called her a “stupid, ******* piece of shit.” She dumped me. What the hell?!?! What the actual hell?!?!?
Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21
Who doesn’t?
griddy24 18
Yah what is that with guys who are totally silent during sex? I hear this from other women too so I know it’s not cause I suck at sex. It’s so boring and unrewarding to **** someone who doesn’t signal any pleasure at all.