Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Claus isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of Santa is to a coworker, and how every parent should tell their kids the truthLies. The intercom microphone was on. I single-handedly told a group of 100 six year-olds that Santa isn't real. FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
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Top comments
crazy005 7
Dude; 1) FYL For all the angry glares you musta gotten and tears shed, but YDI because you don't bring older kids to see Santa. Despite how much you think "D'aw, they'll love it. " Even though we complain to you. Note: When we say we hate it and don't wanna go, we mean it.
kelissa_fml 16
That sucks. Crushing young people's dreams since 2011... But I'd have to admit I would be embarrassed if my mother brought me... I'd probably say something like that too...
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Comments (159)
kelissa_fml 16
That sucks. Crushing young people's dreams since 2011... But I'd have to admit I would be embarrassed if my mother brought me... I'd probably say something like that too...
uFayel 6
You mean... Santa's not real?
DrDilllonReese 12
Not even close
Trix_Disorder 20
All of the 11-year-olds that peruse this site are gonna be upset.
keepcaImcarryon 0
After that, your son should have just blurted out that neither is The Tooth Fairy.
humorizer 14
He's a good kid. I find it ironic that we call it a religious holiday, and in turn we feed a lie to kids (and then find excuses for why it's ok to lie to them).
drawmesunshine 17
There's this psycho-religious guy back in my home town. Last year, he and his Super Christian groupies took a cardboard cutout of Santa Claus to the gun range, and shot him all to bits. Google Repent Amarillo, and check out their Facebook page.
AdamBasebal69 0
Who was that man who snuck into my house last Christmas then?
monkeysareyummy 0
Me
AdamBasebal69 0
But I remeber him being good looking. Jeez look what a year can do to you kids.
monkeysareyummy 0
I can see a lump of coal in your future..
AdamBasebal69 0
But if Santa is not real who is going to give me the coal?
Jonkbaby 23
thats when you bring the pain, OP
MrSassypants 34
86 He is real, don't worry. I'll give you the coal though. Santa doesn't give coal anymore for some reason. He came into the house an I caught him but he then was taking money from me. He said there had to be some way to buy the coal. I asked where my present was and it turned out to be a picture of me and Mickey at Disney. I thought it was nice but it looked like the one I already had in my kitchen. He went on his way but I never heard my jerk neighbors getting coal. They instead got robbed. Serves them right. I am lucky I didn't get robbed. So the moral of the story is that you should always wash behind your ears.
Naitsi 19
lol
LolFMLnot 10
You got this from COMIC RAGE
crazy005 7
Dude; 1) FYL For all the angry glares you musta gotten and tears shed, but YDI because you don't bring older kids to see Santa. Despite how much you think "D'aw, they'll love it. " Even though we complain to you. Note: When we say we hate it and don't wanna go, we mean it.
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
True, but the older kid knew little kids believe in Santa. He shouldn't have been so loud by so many little kids..
BehindU 5
The awkward silence interrupted by random crying noises
TibbysMusic 1
I'm a teen and sort of agree, but heck no! If my kid did that, they'd be in so much trouble! I don't care how bored the brat is, they don't need to ruin it for kids. Although I also don't agree with telling your kids some fat dude is watching you and gives you random presents.. But whatever.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Sandusky #BUTTSEX
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Sandusky #BUTTSEX
graham11 14
My youngest brother is 3. I actually really enjoy still talking about Santa although my other brother ruined it for me when he was in first grade and I was in fourth grade..
MuziKMajoR 5
WHAT SANTA IS NT REAL AHHHHHH F..K
JustinThunder 8
Am I the only one who noticed that he started a list of one item?
crazy005 7
Don't worry, you're not the only one xD my editing skills totally did not catch that, And I'm not saying the kid shouldn't be in trouble; I'm just saying the parent kinda got themselves into this mess. As a side note: Ahem, he?
deadlyriot101 7
There is a very short time period (about 5-8 years) in which a child either is afraid of Santa or knows he's not real. Yeah, we teenagers are not retarded. We know that everyone will hear it, and how else do you tell people. Technically, OP's kid saved all those parents from having to explain that.
ninjuh_wingman 29
And thus the dreams of those children to meet Santa Claus was forever shattered by reality.
BehindU 5
6n : c I ,:m fk. T l. P u
Brice28_fml 10
Sad thing is, I haven't believed in Santa since I was 5.. Having older siblings like that suck as far as make believe objects go.
BehindU 5
Sorry about that my iPhone turned off while I was trying to text
bitchslapped22 14
Your son is a dream killer
cheeseboy77 0
and the parents of those children will no longer get the delicious home made cookies. that's why you would get glares from the parents.
deadeyedex 6
Noone said it was a guy
mtull08 0
Their son is a total dick
bitchslapped22 14
I know 46, it said eldest and nothing about a son but I just assumed because it sounds more like something a boy would say
hannahcorrine 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
They would've learned sooner or later.
bitchslapped22 14
Sure, but I don't think any kid under 10 should have to know Santa isn't real, if I were a parent of one of those kids I would be angry
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Christmas still isn't the same since I found out the truth... *sigh*
Xxak907xX 0
10 - I'm gonna tell my kids that Santa is fake. I'd rather avoid the dream crushing agony that'll happen sooner or later. That's what my parents did.
Glitterhinoceros 14
SHUT UP GUISE, SANTA IS REAL, OK :c
evilplatypus 39
I agree with 58, but for a different reason. We try to tell our kids not to lie and that lying is wrong, but then we shove this huge lie down their throats. I find it kind of ironic: We lie about a big fat guy that will give them coal if THEY lie or are bad. What kind of message are we sending? Hypocrisy...yay!
MrsPegg 45
@13: I agree. Most children that go see Santa are very young anyways (between 2-7) and are just fully grasping the idea of Santa. I'd be livid if I was one of those parents!!! FYL OP but YDI for making the oldest child wait with you in line!
criminalmindsfan 0
Omg Santa is real wtf you talking about!!! Don't lie hypocrite ;)
bryannab1 0
83: I think it is good for kids to have something like Santa to beleive in. The world is a harsh place and it is nice when they can have something like Santa to look forward to. I wasn't crushed when i learned he was not real , but i was older and had asked my parents myself. I didn't blame my parents for "lying" to me, as you put it. I am glad I had Santa as a little girl.
crazyrunnergirl 7
I guess their on santas naughty list this year?
Okayitwasme 0
You mean = they are, so it's= they're! I'm sorry to correct you, but some dickwad did it to me! Funny thing is, this is FML, which is an abbreviation. So, I don't get it. I understood you.
sadistmonkey 19
Good thing crazyrunnergirl is not technically illiterate. As long as we're talking about using language correctly...
crazyrunnergirl 7
Oops sorry! I didn't realize I spelled it like that !
geon_olam 17
29- abbreviations have nothing to do with spelling things INCORRECTLY. their and they're have different meanings.
criminalmindsfan 0
What's with people always correcting other people's mistakes on here?? Do they get off on it or something??
DarylAndrew 2
Figures, don't you think he's smart enough to know Santa doesn't exist
iamyourgod 3
Grow adults have imaginary friends they talk to, think the world is 6000 years old, believe stories about a zombie who came back for a meal after being nailed to a piece of wood, and that an ark was built to house all the animals (except for a very large group of massive animals that were somehow forgotten). Is thinking a kid, probably ten, believes in a fat man giving out presents that ridiculous?
shrdlu 28
I think the fat man giving out presents sounds more plausible to me.
soccerguy2 11
18- its people's belief. Dont put them down just because you think it is stupid. Everyone has different beliefs for different things. Im not a bible banger or anything but im just saying not to be close minded.
mtull08 0
I think 18 should just shut the **** up and go to hell to do us all a favor
iamyourgod 3
50 - just because a book says something with no proof does not make it acceptable to believe. I believe in what makes the very computer I'm typing this on work, not a book of fables with sometimes questionable morals, written by many authors, all hundreds of years after this supposedly happened.
iamyourgod 3
134 - first law of thermodynamics only holds in classical mechanics. In quantum mechanics particles randomly pop into and out of existence, such as virtual photons. This is a result of the uncertainty principle. The universe actually violates no known laws because it's sum is with a Planck unit of zero.
DarylAndrew 2
18- yea I fat man in a sleigh flying to every home with magic reindeers delivering gifts. So believable
FYLDeep 26
Santa's not real, but his erection is.
rhysfucker 24
You know that most Santas are moonlighting priests, right?
shadystyle 6
I see what you did there
elementalz 2
You see it's funny because mall Santas like to give to lil kids up the butt, to strong? O well
Manganimegrl 16
My friend is scared of mall Santas for this exact reason: pedophilia. I have to agree with her, too, because Santa (if he was real) is a total stalker, and the mall Santas run over people's feet, shove lies down little children's throats along with the parents, and are creepy in general.
geon_olam 17
Or are most priests moonlighting santas?
shadystyle 6
previous Fml reference
TashaRuber 0
Santa is reall tho?-.-
thissucksfmll 0
Santa's not real?