Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
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Top comments
duchessdoughnut 2
Once your straight man discovers he likes butt stuff, a glorious new phase of your life will begin.
poopface82 25
Or maybe it’s an excellent sign.
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Comments (5)
duchessdoughnut 2
Once your straight man discovers he likes butt stuff, a glorious new phase of your life will begin.
poopface82 25
Or maybe it’s an excellent sign.
FluffythePink 23
It's just a sign that he likes butt stuff. You don't have to be anywhere near gay for that. Get him a vibrating butt plug* and enjoy him squealing, writhing and exploding all over you. -------------------------------------------------------- *Do your research first and make sure anything he/you use has a good, flared base. **** is neither research nor reference material, stick with reputable how too guides.
hdisnfjs91 21
You know a man’s g spot is in his butt right? Doesn’t mean he is gay.
MidnaLink 35
Uh, some straight guys DO like butt stuff being done to them, it just doesn't specifically mean they're actually gay or bi.