Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
Ask him if his mouth has any connection to his brain. What an ass.
Jelbeztok 17
if i were you, im pretty sure i'd make him wait a while even after the two weeks.
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Comments (226)
Misoranomegami 16
See and I'm the kind of person who would have flat out asked the doctor if that included oral and anal. Sex does not equal only vaginal sex or orgasms. If athletic movement or vaginal convulsions are the problem say so. If something rubbing the cervix during healing is say that. If you're a lady doctor you should be able to have these conversations.
DavidKnows 11
MY 2nd question would be "can she RECEIVE oral orgasms" herself, or did her doctor advise against it? My 1st ? would have been, "will this interfere w her ability to become a mother in the future, and how does she feel about that?"
AquaBaby 11
@49 The point about vaginal convulsions is a good one actually, that would definitely be more restricting for OP if that was the case :(
synsam 4
bleeding from the cervix husband still wants sex, annoyed you tell him to service his own penis complex, he may be a jerk on purpose but in his mind your mouth is still perfect, you may not want suck it but in the end its all worth it
Zach2014 11
To funny :)
Smo0chin 14
That's a horrible thing to do..... withhold sex during the festive season... I'm pretty sure you anus works.
hunts19ketchup 23
# 52, It's a horrible thing to do to have a medical condition that prevents you from having sex? I'm pretty sure OP's fiance can handle no sex for two weeks. That's what his hand is for. I would imagine that bleeding from your cervix would probably be painful so it's a very real possibility that the OP wouldn't really be in the mood for anal sex either. Maybe in the spirit of the "festive season" he could try being sensitive to her needs.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Charming. And they say romance is dead.
awilliams44 9
Tell him to go mess with himself and go do his own dirty work
goldensnitch0011 4
The problem he has right now is he can't atleast ask if his girlfriend is okay and would be COMFORTABLE giving him head for two weeks instead. A bit of care goes a long way. To make it seem like he just can't go two weeks without some action, no matter what his girlfriend feels, is pretty sad. That's not a real relationship (yes everyone, you don't NEED sex ALL the time to love someone). I really hope he said it as a joke and wasn't seriously insinuating that he should be given head instead.
cryssycakesx3 23
maybe his support is sarcasm? it doesn't make it any less dickish though. my boyfriend and I are nothing but sarcastic to each other, it's how we show love. instead of saying "jk" we say "no sarcasm"
Emilystdenis 7
It's true
worldclassrager 41
He needs a little sex review,,,but in your condition I think he should give you a break until you are clear..,I just hope you are not married in that time...
mythicaltimes 15
That sucks but valid question.
martin8337 36
Pun or no pun intended?