Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
Ask him if his mouth has any connection to his brain. What an ass.
Jelbeztok 17
if i were you, im pretty sure i'd make him wait a while even after the two weeks.
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Comments (226)
sugarbear0727 19
What a dick. :/
enginsteve 17
awesome!
commandercolbert 6
selfish u should make him wait longer than 2 days lol
ughhseriouslywow 10
Tell him, "No, but it doesn't have anything to do with my clit either."
imbedderdenu 23
lmao sounds like something my husband would say. ..smh men!!
Tgo19053 15
Sheesh, you people need to learn to take a joke.
brandoneyez1 25
That's not right! I was always told if she doesn't take from behind .....
SMcGwier 4
Your fiancé sounds like a dick.
Mmresd 5
Your mouth doesn't have to be the ONLY resolution to YOUR problem.
johnr0st 2
haha yes, all we need is a hole to ****, which one, doesn't matter when in love