Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML
Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
the_stereotype 0
we all have our ways of coping...? if it helps, get visa papers for a foreign country and tell her you're filling them out so you can remember the reasons you want to get away from her
hahathatsux 0
you should get a membership to a dating site and when she asks why say if she's that prepared to divorce you you should be equally prepared to find someone who isn't a total bitch
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
dswhite85 11
FIRST!!!!!!!
Grotesque 0
Nobody cares. Shut up.
Poepiepiesie 3
Well care i say, chances are the pdf wont even open.
RustyShackelfurt 0
I care. Congrats man!
22jrdn55 15
thx RustyShackelfurt # 5 u shut up n stop hating
YDIBITCHES 0
Third!!!jk but good job #1 everyone else is just jealous.OP that sucks
chipmunk95 0
congrats man now everyone who clicks on this sees your name first and thats thousands of people congrats im jealous
blink182rocks 0
YDI for having the potential to make your wife mad.
8trickster8 0
GJ #1!
22jrdn55 15
ty # 62
TheUserIsMeNotU 0
You should delete the files, that'll make all that time she spent filling them out worthless and get you some nice revenge. However if shes doing that shes probably serious, so instead you should rewrite the .pdf file to be you divorcing her, then for the reason put....well I'm sure you'll find some reason, any wife that does that sure is a bitch.
bigcrazymike 6
I agree with #83. You need to beat her to the punch. Be a sweetheart to her as much as possible, but get yourself a lawyer. You don't want to get taken for your stuff. Start moving the money NOW!!!
TheMeow 0
1. Lol at the dude who said nobody cares, clearly you cared enough to reply. 2. YDI for snooping on her computer. Get your own, fatty.
CheshireHalli 19
Ouchhh, better not make her mad... =/ Sucks that she did that though...
TheBigDawg 8
What a bitch. Divorce her yourself.
NeatNit 33
Why are FML comments so extreme? Someone looked at you funny? SUE HIM. Girlfriend made a spelling mistake? BREAK UP WITH HER. Boss told you off for a misunderstanding? QUIT AND/OR REPORT HIM TO HIGHER UPS. TV too loud? SMASH THE SPEAKERS WITH A HAMMER. Pickles too sour? THROW THEM AT THE MANUFACTURER OWNER'S FACE. Roommate stinks? MURDER HER IN HER SLEEP WITH SOAP.
feminist19 0
she is fully entitled to do that so i don't see what your problem is
theresnoway 0
wow. really dude://
slash1396 0
your fully entitled to stfu and get back in the kitchen!!!!!!!!
feminist19 0
and yet i wont, was that an attempt at sexist humour
slash1396 0
not humor just honesty
Puolukka 4
Technically you're right...but she's not threatening him in any way shape or form. She didn't show him the PDF files, he FOUND them and confronted her...if he hadn't been snooping around in her computer, then he would probably never even have found out about it because she's not actually considering divorce. Maybe she really just uses that kind of thing as a form of venting, to get it out of her system...because if she was really serious they'd probably be in the middle of a divorce already since he found "several" files... I know I do it...in certain situations I'll rather go to my best friend and vent about the shit my husband did instead of getting deeper in the argument with him. It reminds me of what he did, I am able to reflect and think about it...and once I'm done I'm most likely not even mad anymore. Granted her way is a bit unorthodox...but if it works for her, to each their own.
teiso_fml 0
No, it's wrong. She's WAITING for something to happen! If something really bad does happen, or the marriage isn't working for her anymore, she should go out and prepare divorce papers THEN! Beforehand, it's like she's expecting the marriage to fail, and that's not fair on him. Marriage is supposed to be until death. Sometimes it doesn't always work out that way, but when that happens, it's a tragedy. She's not taking the marriage seriously at all! She says she wants to do it while she's still mad. That's insane. People don't think clearly when they're upset and things people do when they're angry are often things people regret doing later. It's when she's calm and collected and can think clearly and STILL wants a divorce, THAT'S when she should fill them out.
followmeimfamous 0
get rid of her before she can get rid of you! =p
the_stereotype 0
we all have our ways of coping...? if it helps, get visa papers for a foreign country and tell her you're filling them out so you can remember the reasons you want to get away from her
Dashelle 25
She's stupid enough to divorce you while she's mad? Sounds like there are other reasons.
jj911 0
black and blue is the new color of her face
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's not okay to even joke about.
Bullshet 0
That's...kind of weird.
sublime93 0
Lulz
feminist19 0
do you have a point?
Starchild21 3
Wow you sound like a sexist pig just by the very start of your rant. I hope your mom doesn't see this post. _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
genius_man16 1
You're the one who's sexist Starchild if you honestly think what he wrote was sexist. What he said it completely true. The wife's behavior is totally unwarraned, childish, and disrespectful, and yet people will always defend women simply because they have a ******, no matter how wrong they are. It's disgusting. Do women deserve equal rights and all that shit? Absolutely, but defending women all the time simply because they are women is at best, counterproductive, and at worst, just as sexist.
pshnoway 0
All of you are sexist because all the guys on here have classified ALL women as sexists and the feminist is just a sexist by calling herself a feminist.
screwtaylor 0
You should get your own divorce papers aswell and put the reason for 1) Stinky loose ******. 2) She's a bitch. Show them to her and get even. Then she'll see how it feels.