Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
Ask him if his mouth has any connection to his brain. What an ass.
Jelbeztok 17
if i were you, im pretty sure i'd make him wait a while even after the two weeks.
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Comments (226)
Deadmike 7
I'm sorry you're having a problem, but I think it's a valid point he made. if my girlfriend had such a problem I'd never make the mistake of saying so, but if she did and make an effort to pleasure me with her mouth it would mean something. but most people are too selfish and do nothing that's not for their own pleasure. if it was in some way the other way around I wouldn't hesitate to pleasure my girlfriend and would be happy for her. that is love in my opinion. and now no doubt I'll get plenty of negative votes.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Oh the irony that you consider her behaviour as selfish. Is his girlfriend his sex doll? That the guy cannot picture 2 small weeks without any kind of sexual intercourse is really pathetic and insensitive. His first concern should be her health, not if he is going to get some.
vencku 13
While I agree that it would be nice of OP to service her fiance despite her condition, that should be her decision. Her man shouldn't pressure her. It might have been a joke, but some women do feel uncomfortable when put on the spot like that. It should be offered, not asked.
dawood_k 27
One of the best of FML for 2013. Oh and best response is by #112 112 if inly more ppl could be like you the world be a better place....there'd never be any dullness Oh let's not forget about OP's fiancé this dude. You're the dude of the year
TattooInvasion 14
What about his mouth? He can use his as well . . .
dohdohdoh 13
Up the bum no babies.
aec30168 4
bleeding from your cervix is called your period it comes out through there where else would it come from?
jeepers_1 21
You don't bleed from your cervix during your period... You bleed from the lining of the uterus shedding... It just happens to go through your cervix.
hunts19ketchup 23
#148, I have to wonder how old you are. Bleeding from the cervix is a serious medical issue, not a normal thing that happens every month.
katt_is_here 24
This is why abstinence only education is a bad idea. Right here.
_NeoQueen_ 7
....so why is he your fiance??
bobslawnservice 16
I hope that you are ok and that it is nothing too serious.
pinchepriscyla 9
Well it is a valid question
Jst4kicks 16
Man has needs
Jennielee 6
That's when you say, as long as there is nothing wrong with yours!