Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in over a week, because I had been having weird cramps. Afterwards, I was experiencing the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life, so we went to the ER. Turns out my cramping was from an ovarian cyst, and having sex made it rupture. FML
Today, I finally had sex after a year-long dry spell. It caused an ovarian cyst to rupture and ended up with me in the ER. I'm afraid to ever have sex again. FML
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I had the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Too bad it put me in the hospital with a slipped disc and a concussion, and yet I just know me and the violent lady in question will probably do it all again at our next date. Good thing my health insurance is paid up. FML
Today, we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jendaflooid 6
...were you trying to climb inside or something?!?!
incognitomiso 13
don't be discouraged, the first time isn't as glamorous as it seems. you probably went too deep and too fast.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
Jendaflooid 6
...were you trying to climb inside or something?!?!
incognitomiso 13
don't be discouraged, the first time isn't as glamorous as it seems. you probably went too deep and too fast.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pro tip: Don't kneel on your girlfriend when you're trying to have sex.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Whatever you did, you went at it too hard. And you're here trying to gain sympathy for your sorry ass but I'm only sorry for your (hopefully soon to be ex) GF
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
stop using **** as a sex ed class!