Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
Ask him if his mouth has any connection to his brain. What an ass.
Jelbeztok 17
if i were you, im pretty sure i'd make him wait a while even after the two weeks.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (226)
scotty910 9
Butthurt females. Everywhere.
robclnt 1
I dont remember writing this -_- this is what my fiance has said
SouthernGrl94 14
ya, my fiance would do the same....men suck..
JamesRay 3
Ok he should have asked in a more sensitive mannerism but I dont see it as selfish. There have been times where sex isnt an option but my fiance needs to be tended to, so I go down on her. There have been times where she has finished but shes sore so we stop and shes too worn out to finish me. Its all about reciprocation She'll make up for it just like I would for her.
BWARD51 12
mouth feels better anyway
TheMystery13 13
"Nope. It has nothing to do with my ******** either, but oddly enough, my ******** has a lot to do with my mouth. Now shave up and wet your lips, assface.
zombienationxo 9
I don't understand why practically no one can go without sex. Sure it's fun and all, but if you love someone you can wait.
blala2733 5
Screw that!!! Suck him off!!! He's got needs too!!!
KillPrince 6
He's right
badkid91 11
While that does suck, that doesn't mean you can't go down on him..