Today, my deadbeat ex-husband who works at a country club was invited to play poker with some club members as they needed a last player. He’s rubbish at poker but got some lucky hands and ended up winning £112,000 from those rich guys. Life isn’t fair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
Today, I went to a casino with $300 to spend and somehow walked out with $21K. When I told my wife, she sighed and moaned about how annoying taxes will be, and how I should have pushed my luck further. The house always wins, even when it loses. FML
Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML
Today, I won the lottery two years ago, got a massive payout, and of course I told my boss to suck a hobo's asshole and rubbed it in my ex-wife's face that I was set for life. Now I'm broker than ever, getting sued for unpaid debt, and I just learned I'm blacklisted in my former career field. Why me? FML
Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband raised the bar. He sold our former marital home and put the money into a college fund for MY nieces. Now he looks great to my family, he already has a new place to live (thanks to his rich parents), and I’m stuck living with a college friend. FML
Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Chazzster 32
Sounds like x-husband is lying unless he showed OP the money.
Alan Staff 59
All right, settle down everyone. I've shortened the title, it was a sly nod to a song called "Child Psychology" by the band Black Box Recorder. The quotation marks should've shown the intended irony/sarcasm, but apparently not. Sorry for the confusion. Check the song out!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
Chazzster 32
Sounds like x-husband is lying unless he showed OP the money.
Alan Staff 59
All right, settle down everyone. I've shortened the title, it was a sly nod to a song called "Child Psychology" by the band Black Box Recorder. The quotation marks should've shown the intended irony/sarcasm, but apparently not. Sorry for the confusion. Check the song out!
rotflqtms_ 21
what was the title? for us poor phone app users...
Alex Gruber 5
Well, it seems, he might not be all that "deadbeat" and "rubbish" after all! Maybe it's your ability to evaluate him that's rubbish?