Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
tarheel_fan 0
It's time to invest your "money" and collect back after "interest" has built up over time--just pleasure her so much that she'll return the favor hardcore. We're talking like one week just loaded with sex once you can start doin it, oh yeah!
Snerkie 0
oh no...you'll have to choose between dying or not having sex : jeez what a hard decision, your life does indeed suck when you can't have sex to save your life...
Atilak 0
OP read this http://www.myonlinewellness.com/topic/hasex .....
Kylaka 0
Well, you can at least please your partner and in turn maybe have some nice sensual moments or something.
spankyness 0
Sex is great exercise lowers blood pressure that docs a quack prob not gettin any... Be on the safe side though just make ur wife do all the work, doctors orders
Mnemic 6
What do you eat if I may ask? Do you have overweight? Do you smoke? Do you eat too much salt? :)
Chimi4ever 0
*Are you overweight, That sucks, OP, sorry. :(
Endymion_fml 0
If you're fat, you probably deserve it.
Amkii 0
So? What's the problem here? Just control yourself for a month.
sleepingprincess 0
THAT totally sucks. I can barely go a week without sex. FYL man.
d347hm4n 0
Hey fatty fatty, can't get a nosh in. Loose weight!