Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!
K_kanaka 26
Dirty mouth? Clean it with, Orbit.
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Comments (161)
bertoelmexicano 6
Mix your roomate's and his dog's favorite meal up next time:)
GoW_Chick 15
Not if he buys that fancy gourmet dog food crap, it looks the same and sometimes better than are food, and since his pampered pooch has it's own toothbrush I'm willing to bet he does. Some people treat their dogs better than their own off-spring.
GoW_Chick 15
*our Stupid, stupid, stupid! *repeatedly bangs head against table because she fails at grammar*
Boston_4_Life 3
Your toothbrush must taste wonderful!
EmmyBabe_fml 0
OP has been using their toothbrush for a while and not noticed a difference. So obviously the toothbrush doesn't taste any different..
ItsTheKing 10
"Dirty mouth? Clean-" Oh you guys got it covered.
FinJage 18
If you've been using it for a whole month and didn't notice any difference, just imagine it never happened.
tdawg4200 0
First of all, he's a complete moron for mistaking the objects. Secondly, get your own place because roommates suck.
2oc 5
Accidentally mix up the spices with the laxatives for the next meal. Revenge complete
MigraineurOfLife 15
Actually, revenge - day one done (check) 29 to go!
xxtb0 0
imagine how the dog feels, op.
TheJashinist 8
Oh man, that's disgusting...
bubbly31 0
They say dogs mouths are cleaner than humans.
upyourzlolz 11
But oddly, more shit passes through human's mouths.
msilikegrapes 8
they "say" that. But it isnt true. Exhibit A: his dog just ate cat poop
pattipan 7
The idea that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's is utter nonsense. Dog lovers often spew that a test proved that this is true, but are not honest enough to admit that in this test, the human sample had not brushed his teeth for a month. A human who brushes regularly has a much cleaner mouth than a dog's, even a dog who has his teeth brushed.
gbylk 4
You didn't notice so it can't have been too bad?