Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
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Top comments
Cathrin 26
Is your roommate male or lesbian? He/she might be trying to drop a hint.
Dictionaryspeaks 18
Buy another toothbrush! :}
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Comments (29)
DailyLifeProbs 22
Hygiene at it's finest ?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Soak your toothbrush in boiling water. That should kill anything.
AverageAvarice 23
Actually, it doesn't.
Cathrin 26
Is your roommate male or lesbian? He/she might be trying to drop a hint.
ChiefKoala 30
That's a might weird way of dropping a hint. When I'm ready for kids, I'm gonna tell my girlfriend by throwing baby dolls at the window. you have inspired me, thank you.
ThrottleJockey 36
So long as it's AT the window and not OUT the window. That may send the wrong message.
Jay18 22
the thoughts that come to my mind after reading that has made my night
Dictionaryspeaks 18
Buy another toothbrush! :}
Arankara117 4
Better yet! Buy a new roommate! :D
katiz99 1
?. Burn it. Then find a new house or house mate ASAP ????
Soparot 29
Your roommate needs to learn about manners. You should never touch your roommate's personal stuff unless you know for a fact that they are ok with it. Assuming you have mouthwash handy, give your toothbrush a nice wash in that. It'll clean it right up.
cuz803 46
There's been worse...wait...OP get a restraining order!
Mynamewontfi 40
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.
Saikon1357 25
Go to Walmart, buy a new toothbrush because that's disgusting. Send them a picture with the text, "I want a divorce."
RichardPencil 32
Tell her, "Oh, that's not my toothbrush. It's the tool I use to get rid of stubborn dingleberries and dried-up semen. Kisses!"