Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!
K_kanaka 26
Dirty mouth? Clean it with, Orbit.
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Comments (161)
HolyPotato 9
I bet your breath smells awesome. Yup yup.
juicystar777 4
why would you think his breath smells awesome? didn't you read the FML, silly? the dog ate fresh cat poop. i don't think cat poop tastes very nice :3
blackbelt25 12
*facepalm*
urdirtyolduncle 15
Dirty mouth? Clean it up!
juicystar777 4
dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit! ..now in styling new packs!! :DD
urdirtyolduncle 15
Blonde, blonde, blonde! I JUST made that joke..
bubbly31 0
Ya wouldnt you realize the smell or taste of The toothbrush fyl anyway though that's gross
Damn_Hippster 11
Ruh-roh! (scooby voice) Use a lot of mouthwash OP
marinus_fml 20
#26, give the poor girl a chance.
GoW_Chick 15
When you said yup yup it for some reason reminded me of that old kids movie with the little dinosaurs trying to get to the great valley, I think the one who says yup yup name was duckie, can't remember the damn name of the movie though or figure out why it matters or why I brought it up... Heh.
The_Hitdude 12
The name of the movie was The Land Before Time GoW Chick... Glad I could help! ;)
NoYDI 4
^ LAND BEFORE TIME!!!
nerobluerose 10
I see no mistake the dog owner made.
Havin 19
Yeah The Land Before Time was, is the best! 'Oh no no no no! Spike cannot swim!' I remember a line like that I think from Duckie? So cute! Now I want to watch it hehe.
nerobluerose 10
21 I believe 6 made the joke first, and here you are telling someone else you made it first.
urdirtyolduncle 15
^Dont be too observant.
X_Codes 11
@85: 21 used a Tardis to make the joke first.
theaws0m3guy 4
Sure...your roommate "mistakenly" used your toothbrush for his dog...
Deroni76 5
Well that's a shitty situation.
Lovemylife1319 1
Sooo i take it your breath stinks?
SkoomaKi 28
You'd expect so, but it actually smells of daisies and sunshine!
159_fml 17
Dogs mouths are cleaner then humans so ya
khaya 9
Start using cat shit as toothpaste, you'll find out.
khaya 9
Start using cat shit as toothpaste, you'll find out.
Krysk_fml 0
Thumbs down ALL the reposts
dianaplatano 9
No SHIT :D haha
GovernorGeneral 8
A new age has arrived: the 9gag age. Or reddit. I prefer reddit...
Maddz123 1
Gross you should deffintly get a new toothbrush
upyourzlolz 11
Holy shit! Your ideas put Einstein to shame!
breeY0 7
first of all op, why is the dogs tooth brush where youu would keeo your own ?
nabila21 0
You dont say?
Dimence 9
NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
twilightluvr101 4
now y would he do that, I hear cat poop tastes great, especially when it just been in a dogs mouth! (p.s.anyone else find it kinda ironic how a dog would eat a cats shit?)
nerobluerose 10
Keep digging Watson.
Krysk_fml 0
3- You should 'deffintly' learn how to spell.
Maxcold 2
You don't say?!
Tsunami87 17
Builds your immune system.
Ecklcakes 15
And the dog's.
EyeCeYu 7
well that makes a shitty day...
Lovemylife1319 1
The word 'shitty' in a pun... Never heard that one
upyourzlolz 11
At least it is slightly better than the more typical "shitty situation".
Jakesterk96 8
Hey, shit happens.
zombicidal 11
you're new to FML aren't you
jomo111 5
Dogs have the cleanest mouths because their Siliva is "special" and desinegrates and destroys bacteria and food residue so your good;)
bettyc4 26
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!
K_kanaka 26
I like how we wrote the same comment at almost the same exact time. The only difference is that I'm gonna get thumbed down.
MamieJoy98 7
25- now ya'll have the same thumbs! :D
tdawg4200 0
That's hilarious. I like you.
K_kanaka 26
Dirty mouth? Clean it with, Orbit.
bettyc4 26
LMFAO beat cha to it!
K_kanaka 26
Lol. U win this one bethcy4.
K_kanaka 26
*bethyc4
EmmyBabe_fml 0
K_Kanaka, I thumbed up your comment just because I felt bad since you two posted at the same time. haha
K_kanaka 26
Thank you EmmyBabe you have made my day. ;)
Wicked361 8
;) winky face makes everything sexual
TheNinjaBacon 8
Wat the french toast u son of a biscut eating bulldog
bettyc4 26
I gave you thumbs up cuz i like people who think like me ^.^ and you're just cool
K_kanaka 26
Mahalo for the thumbs up. And you're cool to bethyc4
Cat_Daniels 6
;)
veronicajean 6
Hah there I thumbed you:)
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
Solution: Buy a new toothbrush. Oh, but before you do, make sure you kick out your roommate. He sounds like a douche.
kateindeed 5
Why would they kick him out if it was an honest mistake? It doesn't say that he intentionally used OPs toothbrush.
swimmersrok 0
Its not his fault... Read the fml.
effedml 5
OP's roommate totally did that on purpose.
bridgid96 13
Fresh cat poop yumm!!!
emeraldisle 30
Tell your roommate you thought his toothbrush was the scrub brush for the toilet.
thepatty8474 10
Win ^.^
emeraldisle 30
Haha thanks! :]