Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Junk in the trunk
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Firehose
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML
Caught red handed
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Top comments
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.
ACrispyRainbow 0
Problem?
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Comments (378)
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, Your taste in lotion and your boyfriend's concept of property ownership notwithstanding, this is an easy fix~ give him a bill. Should settle the problem in one pass. In the meanwhile enjoy his velvety texture; think of it as a seasonal flavor that will only last a limited time.
niniloka 2
save money and give him some head!!!
fatalwish 6
Thats what you get for wasting money on the expensive stuff
brbpeople 4
I blame this on u. He shouldent need to "wank"
mightymart 5
Ydi, maybe he wouldnt have to do that if you satisfyed him properly!!
bigdaddy93 8
I absolutely had to say YDI for paying that goddamn much for a bottle of lotion
LennyComa 39
Straight to favourites
wriptidez 0
tmi...
Vekzzza 6
Simple- give him a bit more action so he doesn't have to wank with your moisturizer.
sjhill 32
My only advice to you is to hide the good stuff. Just like he does...