Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML
Ring of fire
Today, I learned the hard way that I'm allergic to a particular brand of tampon. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML
Forget me not
Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Burn unit
Today, I woke up with a horrible UTI after having sex with my fiance the night before. I went to an urgent care to get antibiotics as my primary was closed. Turns out, I'm allergic to condom lubricant. Now every time I pee, it not only burns, but smells like a nasty condom. FML
Weeks?
Today, I’m allergic to all forms of hormonal birth control, and due to the virus outbreak, I can’t get my implant replaced. We’re in quarantine, and my boyfriend and I just used our last condom. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Top comments
catalina16 6
There's more than one type of condom material out there
ksks1234 33
She is allergic to ALL forms of birth control?
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Comments (125)
catalina16 6
There's more than one type of condom material out there
orbit 22
Like sheep skin condoms
TrippingOnAcid 29
It's probably the latex. Plenty of latex free available:)
Dillyduzit 23
There's also various forms of birth control. No excuses, OP!
foxwasalamb 24
God really doesnt want you to have sex
thesmeagol 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Or for them to have a child
orbit 22
#65 If they can't use birth control doesn't that mean they were meant to have a baby?
Godsofdracos 15
59, I'm assuming that was to 56 :) Let me translate: Or [God means] for them to have a child.
tashb 17
You guys are gonna be great parents!
slingerslasher 24
He's allergic to condoms, regardless of type.
orbit 22
Yes 67 it was for 56...I guess there is a little dyslexia in all of us.
ChristianH39 30
......he's most likely allergic to the latex in the condom....
thesmeagol 22
67/59 I probably should have stressed the 'For' a bit lol . Didn't mean it as not have a child
SirMichael 13
No #99, that's not how allergies work. He's allergic to something in the condoms, probably latex.
jthmtwin 16
Durex and Trojan make 'natural material' condoms
ksks1234 33
She is allergic to ALL forms of birth control?
jtthegr8 26
I don't think OP looked into it if he only mentioned a singular type of birth control. Who knows though
fwongraven 10
Yep - there are so many forms of birth control, plus latex-free condoms for you. If she keeps making excuses, ask to accompany her to the doctor or clinic for some advice.
CrazyOvrMustangs 10
It's possible for a woman to be allergic to the combination of hormones in pills, *****, rings, etc. I know 2 women who are allergic.
AlaskanG 27
*****, huh?
jeepers_1 21
There are so many forms of bc, pills, rings, shots, implant, patch, IUD (copper ones don't have any hormones).
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
No giggles about it
geekpower_fml 28
I thought OP was being sarcastic? As in she refuses to use birth control?
KeannaLove 32
#52- I wouldn't say she's refusing to use it. My guess is that she's under educated on all forms of brith control that are out there. Sadly, most people are nowadays.
Demonyx 6
You say nowadays as if there were a time in recent history where that wasn't the case
shaww 28
as long as noones allergic to the pull out method
Derpy_Fish 17
Both op and gf must be under educated. Like it's been said, there are other condom materials. As well as non-hormonal IUDs, like the copper T shaped one. If she's allergic to copper than there's always the plastic hormonal one. Always plenty of options around.
sturschaedel 27
I can't take any hormonal BC. Tried it three times: pill, mini pill and ring. Mood swings set in within two months, after four I was clinically depressed. Each and every time. Now I have a copper IUD, which works fo me. A friend of mine, who also can't take hormones tried the copper too, twice. Each time she bled horribly for two months straight until her body expelled it. Yes, there are women who can't take any form of BC. BTW for all the people pointing out that there are sooo many forms of BC: there aren't. There are basically three: hormones, copper and condoms. All the variety in hormonal BC is just a marketing scheme by the pharmaceutical companies. They are really all the same, they just enter the body in different ways.
allie2590 31
132 - Calling it a marketing scheme sounds a little... weird. Having options for birth control is good.
shellzy 20
You do realize that your two examples aren't supporting your statement that there are some women who can't use any form of birth control? You can't use pills but you can use the IUD, and your friend can't use the IUD but you make no mention of whether or not she was successful elsewhere. You're two separate people; you can't combine into one example. And there are many other types of birth control, like diaphragms and spermicide, but there's also a wide range of hormonal dosing in pills - each has its own potency because some women do have averse reactions to higher doses of hormones. My sister had to go through several brands of bcp before she found one that didn't make her sick. So no, it's not a "marketing scheme" which is kind of silly to think since, unless you work for Hobby Lobby, contraception is usually low to no cost (I know there are economic factors that can make this untrue, just bear with me), it's because there is no one-size-fits-all form of birth control. Everyone has different needs, hence the many different types.
Vegetarian27 24
He's allergic to ALL condoms? Don't put the responsibility entirely on the girl.
spen731 12
You do realize that hobby lobby still covers almost every type of birth control, basically everything but the morning after pill
AussieChild 22
She may not be necessarily allergic to all birth control, but many medications cannot be taken with certain birth control. There's only one that I'm allowed to use (not counting condoms), and it does give me terrible side affects. But I'm married so it's not a huge deal for us if we don't use anything thankfully.
shellzy 20
I do. It was a not so clever joke.
sturschaedel 27
157, you do realize that I stated that "my friend, who also can't take any hormones" also can't have the copper IUD? I do NOT combine the two of us into one example. Chemical contrazeptives and diaphragms exist, but they are potentially harmful for your body, carry a high risk of giving you infections and aren't all that save to boot. Btw, my friends hubby can use all kinds of condoms, but if he had an allergy that would leave latex-free condoms the only option, and those are expensive. Also, only because YOU don't pay for your BC it doesn't mean nobody does. Or are you under the impression that your employer bullies the pharmaheutical companies to give you the BC for free? Companies just happily cover your BC because it decreases the probability that you will fall pregnant, so they don't lose trained workforce. The pharma companies still earn cash big time, and the more perceived variety there is, the longer people will be trying for a version that doesn't have unbearable side effects for them. So, yes, that qualifies as a marketing scheme. And for the "try lots of products until you find one that your body agrees with": please do, if those bad side effects are of the severity of bloating, headaches, weight fluctuations, acne or bleeding abnormalities. I've had to battle my way out of depression three times because of my experiments with hormonal BC. I'd rather live celibate for the rest of my life than spend another year or so with no emotion at all having the bleakness of my life muting my perception of time passing. No thanks.
Shade1982 21
@203: Allergic to all forms of progestin? Your friend is very unlucky, doesn't happen that often... Also could be an allergy to some of the other ingredients used maybe... And latex-free condoms aren't more expensive than others, they are very easily obtainable and can be ordered just about anywhere on the internet. We had to use them too.
sturschaedel 27
Her family has a history of blood clotting issues, so she can't take any BC containing estrogen. She has had allergic reactions to the progesteron-only pills and expelled the Mirena twice (same as the copper IUDs, only even faster), so her doctor also told her she shouldn't try the more permanent forms of progestaron BC like the Depo shots, because you can't just remove that once you show reactions.
Strajee 23
I agree, there is no way she is allergic to coat hangers.
shankypotato 13
I'm sorry that happened. I hope there is be another way of fulfilling both of your desires. Best of luck to both of you!
howsthisforaname 34
Rythem method works but don't just try it, go to a course so you get it right.
jtthegr8 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Figure out the menstruation cycle. There is a point in between a girl's period and the beginning of her ovulation cycle where she can't get pregnant. Also, companies make latex free condoms if that's what you're actually allergic too. I've also had this problem
Khaleesi_26 30
That doesn't work for all women because some are always irregular and never balance out.
LuckBeNimble 19
4: please do NOT propagate this type of advice; people are ill-informed enough as it is.
capthigh 16
Women can get pregnant any day of the month...
Khaleesi_26 30
No we can't get pregnant any day of the month. There is only actually a short period of time that we are fertile. Which is normally between day 11 and 15 of our menstruation cycle. We can only get pregnant during the ovulation period when our Uterus lining thickens and an egg is released. Because the egg only stays in our uterus for so long before the egg and lining gets reabsorbed by our bodies.
Khaleesi_26 30
Well the egg gets reabsorbed. We actually shed the extra lining which is essentially when we bleed and begin our period.
jeepers_1 21
Um, no it's not between period and ovulation. The period is the beginning of the cycle, usually lasting from 4-7 days. Ovulation happens between days 11-16. Sperm can live in the ****** for up to 7 days. On any day between period and ovulation a woman can get pregnant. Also this is a very poor system to use as this is based on a 28 day cycle, which is only an average as well as they fertile period. Rhythm form of bc is very ineffective. Pulling out is actually more effective.
CatchMe25 16
You can get pregnant before your period. You can get pregnant during your period. You can get pregnant after your period. You can get pregnant if you're drunk or if you're sober. Standing up, on top, bent over or laying down. On birth control, with condoms and if he pulls out. You can get pregnant even if he doesn't cum at all. You can get pregnant if you ****** or if you don't. You can get pregnant if it's your first time or your 100th time or your last time. As long as your menstrual cycle has started and he has hit puberty you can get pregnant. Your comment made no actual sense.
Khaleesi_26 30
I didn't say between period and ovulation, I said we were fertile between days 11-15 NORMALLY in our menstrual cycle. And day 14 is actually the most fertile day. And yes even though sperm can live in us for 7 days, it still has to be in there at the right time, and 7 days is the max of how long it can live. Most times it doesn't last that long. And if you noticed my comment earlier you would have realized I said that not all women are regular. And your comment makes no sense when you said "Um, no it's not between period and ovulation" and then in your third sentence you said "On any day between period and ovulation a woman can get pregnant". And lastly, pulling out is not effective, and you shouldn't try it because men pre ejaculate which precum can also get you pregnant. Absences, Birth control and Condoms are all the best forms of not getting pregnant, you can't get pregnant if he doesn't cum at all because then there is no sperm in your body whatsoever.
jeepers_1 21
I didn't respond to you I responded to OP, I'm saying pulling out is more effective than rhythm. Also if you read studies you would know that pre cum doesn't actually contain much if any sperm... It takes a lot more than a couple sperm to impregnate a woman.
jeepers_1 21
Oh and you can't *actually* get pregnant on your period or any time of the month you aren't ovulating... No egg no baby, the sperm however can live for up to 7 days in there. Also infertile/sterile people.
Khaleesi_26 30
You need to do some more research. It takes one sperm to get pregnant, two sperms or more and you are getting faternal twins etc. Unless the egg deicides to split than you have identical twins that came from 1 sperm.
kinky44 28
@57 Let me tell you why you are wrong. It takes thousands of sperm working together to break down the membrane on the egg. At that point, 1 sperm goes into the opening. *Thousands* of sperm.
candicorn 23
Actually a woman can't get pregnant during any day of the month. During ovulation, the egg is released from the ovary, down the fallopian tube, and into the uterus. The egg only lives 12-24 hours after leaving the ovary, and typically only one egg is released per menstrual cycle. This means that a few days after ovulation until about a week before her next ovulation (sperm can live about a week in the uterus), she cannot get pregnant. Using this method is difficult to adhere to rigorously enough to prevent pregnancy and sometimes cycle lengths can change or 2 eggs can be released which are the main reasons it is not advised as a primary birth control method.
jeepers_1 21
It not more haha
xoteeshaox 22
You actually CAN get pregnant on your period. It's rare, but it can happen. After the egg drops and is fertile, it takes approximately a week for the lining to shed and then starting the period (based off the egg being fertile at day 14). If you are irregular, you could have another egg drop while you are on your period, and hence be fertile again, and if you dont get pregnant, the lining sheds, resulting in either a two week period, or two periods that finish and start within a few days of each other. So it is possible, just highly rare.
Godsofdracos 15
This is the third most idiotic thread and absolutely the first for containing so many misinformed "I have to be right" morons, that I have ever read. Way to go guys; Enjoy your babies!
jeepers_1 21
If you have already shed the lining then there would be nothing for the blastocyst to implant into.
missd420 16
Technically, that's not true, but with the combination of fluctuation in cycles and that sperm live for a few days in the body, there is no one day that we can't get pregnant, because it's all too up in the air.
mageepaigeee44 15
Can I just say that people really are pretty misinformed about this stuff. I'm taking a college human sexuality class right now and there are a lot of myths out there about ovulation cycles. From what I've been studying, it seems candicorn's comment is the most spot on. Hopefully people won't read the original comment and start charting their cycle as a form of birth control.
xbaconator9000x 16
Not sure why this comment has so many down votes...
rjt93 18
Actually, Women can get pregnant any-day of the month, and lets not forget that sperm can survive 2-3 days in the ******, which will eventually led to the fertilization of the ovum.
howsthisforaname 34
Rythem method is effective if you do it right. There are courses you can take that teach you how to do it properly, I would not advise trying it without taking a course. It is very popular among Catholics as we are forbidden to use birth control and don't always want to start a family straight after marriage. If you only have sex on the "safe days" you won't get pregnant, this method requires will power because you need to be abstinent for most of the month. The reason it fails a lot of the time is because people don't stick to the safe days or try to figure out the safe days for them selfs.
howsthisforaname 34
Strange but true pregnancy fact, a woman in England had twins with two different fathers. Yes this is possible.
jthmtwin 16
No kidding. Day 2 after my period ended I had sex for the first time in months (with condom) then month and a half later turns out I got pregnant.
jackycat 17
Twins with different fathers is super rare and requires certain circumstances. The mother has to ovulate twice and have sex with two different men within a 24-48 hour period. My anatomy professor talked about a couple cases in our genetics section. Any longer than 48 hours the first embryo will have gotten too large for the body to accept the second or it will be absorbed for nutrients. She also brought up that cats can have litters of kittens with a different father for each kitten, and they can be conceived at any time during the time the mother is in heat.
HeartYou101 31
Hahah #133, "forbidden"? I've been on the Pill since I turned 15 because my mother talked me into getting it and we're both Catholic. My granny even agreed and she's very religious...Also, me and my boyfriend use condoms too. So, speak for yourself and don't say it's "all Catholics" that do that bullshit 'rhythm method', I wouldn't even dare it
kinky44 28
@153 Then you aren't a practicing, read "real", Catholic.
PattonGilette2 18
I was thinking the same thing. A Catholic that is having premarital underage intercourse? Not very Christian.
kittycatdex 8
woman.. Learn more about your own body! it's called nfp and if you do it right -a combination of temperature, cervix position and fluids- it's as save as the pill ... there are even apps for that! just keep in mind it's not protecting you from STDs...
empeterson23 11
Honestly cannot stop laughing at the fact that people are arguing about this right now. People argue about anything and everything now a days !
Shade1982 21
@167&171: By that logic, NOBODY is a real Christian. Not even the hardcore fanatics follow all the rules 100%. You'd come very close to being Amish are something.
andy1500726 19
they have latex free...
stfudonnie 10
looks like it's oral for life!!
Jinxsie 27
Or anal...
metalman746 5
Well then i guess you're f#&ked...uhh...not literally of course...
VeganVampyre 27
I was gonna say, actually they're not ******. That's the problem. :P
uberletepoon 10
Butt stuff?
gramirez23 9
Real MVP #9
aj2711 10
Anal is natures condom
jeepers_1 21
Do you want shit on your dick? Cuz that's how you get shit on your dick.
laden_swallow09 35
What, never heard of enemas, 46?
jeepers_1 21
Yea, they aren't good for you, they get rid of the good bacteria in your large intestine and dry things out.
Zebediabolical 45
You know what they say in prison... Shit on my dick or blood on my knife... Or is that shit on my knife or blood on my dick? I can never remember.
jackycat 17
Shit on your dick is less concerning than shit IN your dick guys. You do not want to be the guy in the ER getting his infected urinary tract swabbed. Or the guy hospitalized because of an infection there.
Pleonasm 36
If it's an allergic reaction that causes intense swelling and growth, it may not be as bad as you think.
Futacy 30
That was pretty funny, but I couldn't help but cringe when I read this just from the thought of seeing my own little guy in that much pain.