Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML
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Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Hey at least your wife touches your balls!
MomentoMori 23
Now you need some medicated cream of your own. Good luck.
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Comments (46)
MomentoMori 23
Now you need some medicated cream of your own. Good luck.
LadyGagasNipple 19
Aw damn. I'm sorry OP.
nonsensical 26
You're everywhere.
haymac 13
I was once pulling weeds and apparently touched poison ivy. Then I went to take a leak
pooldude 24
then what happened.... the suspense is killing me... i am itching to find out!
haymac 13
Bad things man... Bad things
lil_ham1644 29
that's why you scrub in the shower immediately after touching poison ivy.
haymac 13
Brilliant idea, Sherlock
phreaker913 21
this one time in high school, my ex and i were hooking up in the woods behind the school. aparantly in a big patch of poison ivy. she ended up with a head to toe rash. it was not a pretty sight. thats also when i learned i was immune to it. needless to say she was nowhere near as happy as i was about this
chaseafterwind82 29
What were you both doing that resulted in you being smeared from head to toe with her handcream? Wait, I don't think I want to know...
ghetto_child 19
hand cream...her hands, his **** and balls... should be self explanatory
ilanie04 16
Ohhh idk... maybe hmm... normal married couple things?? As in. SEX.
trevorsw1987 10
one word "vaso"
SecundusSecunda 27
Vaso... what?
Wilffe56 9
Vasoline???
Dexter83_fml 17
You should get a cream for that.....oh......sorry
chuka81 27
Well, it seems like you had some sweet, sweet sex with your wife. Good for you.
mld4657 28
Did you put it on yourself?
pooldude 24
No. There is this thing called "contact". And stop flipping me off!
thisguy22 33
I was wondering the same thing. It's not like he specifies that they had sex, could've just been masturbating.
shmoooopie 29
Why would he ********** with his wife's medicated hand cream?
pooldude 24
he couldn't find lube or moisturiser...
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Hey at least your wife touches your balls!
enginsteve 17
Why was it on your balls?
thejonac 21
i think he got lucky
pooldude 24
when giving a handjob, you always include the balls...