Today, and like every other day this year, my wife’s best friend thinks it’s funny to make comments that she thinks I’ll murder my wife, and that she should leave me ASAP. The best friend is in her 30s and has never had a boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife demanded that I cut all ties with my best friend, just because she doesn't like the jokes he tells. Now she's bitching that she's upset because his wife, who she works with, is talking about her. FML
Today, my husband told me that I’m no longer “allowed” to see my best friend of 27 years. He’s worked up in his mind that she’s going to try to convince me to cheat on him because she’s single. She literally introduced us and was the maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML
Today, I contemplated leaving my husband because his best friend is overbearing and doesn't respect the boundaries of our relationship, all while talking bad about me to him. FML
Today, I found out my best friend works at my husband’s job. He calls her his “work wife.” I had no idea they worked together, nor the fact that he calls her that. I used her phone to call my husband and she has him as “Work Hubby” with a heart emoji. The worst part? They insist nothing is going on between them. FML
Today, my 19-year-old best friend decided she's going to elope with her 30-year-old, alcoholic boyfriend, who she's only been dating for 5 months. She wants me to go with her and be her maid of honor. She says she'll never speak to me again if I don't support her terrible decision. FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, I received a threatening DM from my so-called best friend, telling me that she wouldn't be calling off her wedding next week, despite everyone telling her to postpone due for health and safety reasons, and would claw my eyes out if I stayed in quarantine with my sick mum instead of coming. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, my wife’s single friend got drunk at my Master’s graduation party and went a long-winded rant about what a good partner I am. I’d be flattered if the fusing of praise of me with single person problems didn’t come off sounding like a jilted lover. We’d only met twice pre-party. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
I'd put my foot down and quip, "I'd rather murder you for your irritating, nonstop petulance." Furthermore, I'd quip, "Let's be honest here, you want my wife to leave me because deep down, you're gay and want her in bed which explains why you never had a boyfriend." If that sounds too harsh, maybe talk to your wife about it and hopefully she sides with you and understands that you're tired of her best friend's insolence.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, she's had boyfriends. She's just murdered them all...dunh-dunh-dunh!
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Comments (3)
cuz803 46
I'd put my foot down and quip, "I'd rather murder you for your irritating, nonstop petulance." Furthermore, I'd quip, "Let's be honest here, you want my wife to leave me because deep down, you're gay and want her in bed which explains why you never had a boyfriend." If that sounds too harsh, maybe talk to your wife about it and hopefully she sides with you and understands that you're tired of her best friend's insolence.
MidnaLink 35
Beautiful, simply beautiful.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Well played. I tip my hat to you.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, she's had boyfriends. She's just murdered them all...dunh-dunh-dunh!
cuz803 46
Good one, sir 🤣🤣
Blobby McGee 5
That broad is toxic to your relationship. She will convince your wife that she is better off alone, able to party, and be oh so free. You need to be on guard against this, and protect yourself. Toxic women do this regularly, and screw up other people's relationships.