Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, I sat my husband down for a talk for him to stop going to his female coworker’s house until 1-2am. He insists they’re doing work projects. He became so offended that I thought otherwise that he thrashed the entire living room, stomped out of the house, and slammed the door, completely dislodging it. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML
Today, my husband invited 20 of his friends over, no discussion, just 20 strangers in my house. I got mad and went upstairs to our bedroom, which has an en suite shower. I got naked, and yet another dude came out of our en suite and walked right past my bare ass while I screamed. FML
Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy who works with me, and for whom I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until, in the heat of the moment, my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML
Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, I sabotaged my marriage by putting the idea of an open relationship that I never wanted into my husband's head. Why the fuck? FML
Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
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Top comments
peterblackmer91 12
What the hell? Your husband is a complete idiot. To try to pressure you into it is ridiculous. And co-workers? That's just nuts.
chloewb 5
Not to mention coercion does not equal consent 🤬 doesn't matter who it is
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Comments (12)
rainbowdonnareed 18
The big questions Are you a straight couple? If so were his coworkers other guys? A man and woman? This NEDDS a follow up
ikecans 2
This was not a post about sexual orientation. So no that isn’t the big question.
rainbowdonnareed 18
Poster didn't say if they were male or female. wake up
peterblackmer91 12
What the hell? Your husband is a complete idiot. To try to pressure you into it is ridiculous. And co-workers? That's just nuts.
DLBL 23
Seriously! this is not Mad Men 1960s when casually screwing co-workers was not so uncommon.
chloewb 5
Not to mention coercion does not equal consent 🤬 doesn't matter who it is
AJ_I_AM 8
It's so interesting how much a person is willing to lie to enjoy a good sense of humor. :)
bleachedraven 14
🤣
Wadlaen 24
Well, all I can say is that in the end you made the right decision.
Jonkbaby 23
I would give it a shot?????
Tanner Cornwell 5
Yeah **** that! I don't want to share my spouse with anyone, not be intimate with anyone else. Good job on throwing them out.
alex_jaguara 33
A bunch of sickos How didn't he consult you before?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
You did the right thing. That is not something anyone should be forced into. Kudos for throwing his sorry ass out! Next step: Divorce papers.
jodyjoe420 0
well that was rude of you. why embarrass him like that in front of company?? at least get laid before calling it a night