Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
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Top comments
AsianCookie247 14
You Are just now farting in front of him? ...
sariannacanna 6
How did you survive for 26 years and never farting in front of him?!? Thats some extreme control *claps and nods* lol
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Comments (171)
robc32ca 4
Should have done it sooner! And during sex...
ellakacyme22 6
Yeah she sould do that more often and be free round her husband more
AngryBlckMan13 2
Omg i just realized ive never heard my mom fart..... Bepto bismo time >:3
CryMoreFMLs 15
Do you mean pepto bismol? I've never heard of what you're talking about....
LegalyWhite 7
Farting is no big deal your husband and kids both do it tell them to grow up
plolkh 3
wow, 26 years...!!! so it was like 26 years of farts, in one fart.. must have been loud....
2O12 6
She's not "infront" of her boyfriend 24/7..
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Just because she doesn't fart in front of her husband doesn't mean she hasn't farted..
BigRigX 2
How do you know, did you ask her?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Reminds me of Peter Griffin in the old episode about him wanting to be a knight. (fart) Peter: "what was that?"
roddollaz92 0
Lmao yesss
maphineRAWRS 10
lololololol that's so funny, my mum always farts haha
mea_iloveskiing 26
What what?
Branflakes78 13
Haha payback is a bitch!
lovelife9 12
I started farting in front of my boyfriend within two months....he doesn't care
TheNewGuy03 29
If I'm dating someone, I actually *encourage* them to let their farts out. In private, of course. It's a natural bodily function, really. |the kid|