Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
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Top comments
AsianCookie247 14
You Are just now farting in front of him? ...
sariannacanna 6
How did you survive for 26 years and never farting in front of him?!? Thats some extreme control *claps and nods* lol
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Comments (171)
RedPillSucks 33
Next time, fart while sitting in his lap, so he can feel the warm after-glow.
KiddNYC1O 22
Now you'll have an array of atomic farts.
carleilam 3
Holy Bat Farts! After 26 years I hope it was at least a good one! Why have you waiting this long!! You must have had some really uncomfortable times in the past holding that all in! Now you need to fart in bed and pull the covers over his head!
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for being so modest.
hoonyer 17
Dutch oven time? I think yes ;)
j_cat187 20
It's a big deal because you are so embarrassed about it.
mrssuarez2011 12
Aww I'm sorry OP that is embarrassing.
mycatsaysmeow 7
lol, that's why I make it a point to fart in front of of my SO early in the relationship. that way he gets desensitized and I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not!
bubo_fml 11
My girlfriend farted in my face on the 1st night I met her...(I was going down on her @ the time!)
bubo_fml 11
Give your husband an ear splitting 'Scottish Bedwarmer' 2nite!!