Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
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Top comments
AsianCookie247 14
You Are just now farting in front of him? ...
sariannacanna 6
How did you survive for 26 years and never farting in front of him?!? Thats some extreme control *claps and nods* lol
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Comments (171)
desireev 18
Omg!! Dammit people!!!!! EVERYONE FARTS AND *****!!! It's just rude and not something to be "showing off"!! My fiancé knows that I fart and shit! I just don't do it in front of him! It's rude and gross! There's a difference between a "female" and a "lady"!! A "lady" would not walk around farting and announcing that she's gonna "take a shit"!! Grow up people!!
mule570 3
Wow. my girlfriend farts in front of me and i fart in front of her and we only been dating for 2 and a half years. u need to be made fun of for that after waiting 26 years of marriage. girls need to understand that everyone farts so just do it
giggler25 0
I'm pretty surprised you remember exactly when you did it last
raraisbang 12
Lol I'm not even married to my man and he's heard me fart. Though, we've got a baby... Pregnancy wreaks havoc on the body. Especially has wise ;-)
raraisbang 12
gas*
beclaurela 18
Kudos to you!
Haha_no_123 11
You've held in multiple farts in your own house for 26 years? You. Are. A. Legend. I know many girls couldn't do that! Good job for the first 26 years though. Fart whenever he brings it up, make sure you eat beans
EdenLis 14
You've kept track of how many years it's been since you last farted in front of your husband...? Lol
dhbeaver 9
29,500th PERSON TO VOTE!! That make my day!! :D
SkoomaKi 28
26 years?! Why haven't you before? It's perfectly acceptable in your own household.