Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML
Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait until marriage. Four hours later, he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, my husband and I returned from a much needed weekend away. I found out that during that time, his weird ass parents tried to force our daughter to do one of those creepy virginity pledges, complete with a “purity” ring ceremony. She’s literally 9 years-old. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML
Today, I tried to make things less awkward by complimenting my Tai Chi partner's ring and he says, "Thanks, it's a purity ring!" I said, "I used to have one of those. Would you believe me if I said I lost it in a river?" Now my entire Tai Chi class thinks I lost my virginity in a river. FML
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
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Top comments
takeapieandrun 9
OP's parents probably think they are little angels.
Natasa1996 0
aaaaand how old are you?? haha jokes thats sooo awkward :/
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Comments (67)
Natasa1996 0
aaaaand how old are you?? haha jokes thats sooo awkward :/
claudio117 12
Notice op knew twin wasn't virgin either. Group sex?
nateylovesporn 1
did you loose your virginity to him maybe? incest maybe?(:
StoryOfTheYear 15
Priest lost before he even blessed the rings. He needs a new profession.
RedMosquito 4
Just get them sized and use them as **** rings
n_epic_fail 14
^^ imagine their mother finding those kind of rings... ;)
jaredofmo 22
12 — Twins tell each other EVERYTHING.
Andr913 13
I also want to know how old they are, and if they got any other presents besides those stupid rings. If your only present was a ring that doesn't do shit, that sucks.
gojira666 7
Oddly enough, the priest took both of their virginities.
WeAreAHurricane 14
It's because you haven't turned it on yet...Jk but that must be pretty awkward when you tell them
takeapieandrun 9
OP's parents probably think they are little angels.
D37H100 5
Yup, but really they're sinners just like everyone else(:
Shadow_Phantom 26
Sounds like your parents have unrealistic expectations... FYLs.
paintingxflowers 8
but what if they're, like, 13 years old? It's arguably a young age to lose your virginity but when I was that age a lot of my classmates had already lost it. OP's parents were probably thinking traditionally, but kids these days are getting sluttier and sluttier.
knoxxx 22
I think at thirteen a lot of kids had SAID they lost their virginity, but I believe a lot of it was probably a lie and a lot of it probably only had to do with this weird notion young kids seem to have that losing your virginity is a race. Everyone should wait to have sex until they're truly comfortable, and I really hope that average age of comfortability hasn't become 13. That's just sad..
herpitydurteedur 0
I remember when I was in 4th grade one of the "big kids" asked me if I was still a virgin +_+ I didn't even know what that meant. She was in the 6th grade :/ my friend lost it when she was like 12 though. He was like 15 too. She still keeps in touch with him so they can get high and **** and pick out furniture and stuff, but she dates other dudes for their money and sucks a LOTTTTTTT of dick. Like We'd be trick or treating and she'd tell me to go turn the corner cause she was gonna give some dude a bj. In the middle of the friggin sidewalk. Yeah. When all the guys in school know your name and all the chicks hate you, you're probably a ****.
Meme1988 18
#26 Ha?! wth?
bustub2 8
What's her number?
shadow1690 9
Out of my whole grad class I think there were like 2 guys who had lost their virginity by grade 10 so I don't think that average would be 13 haha, I'd say more around 15-17
Rynk95 11
'Um, dad? Surprise..'
thatssomeBS 9
Is OP a guy or a girl? If OP is a girl, I hope the stories of why neither are virgins aren't related...
EsteeCee 4
Family activity? O.O
Jonkbaby 23
how do you know the priest wasn't a virgin I mean, weird.
kimmy91 12
Can you read?
cosmosis 12
7- how can you seriously be that bloody retarded? ... Did you even read before commenting? Op was talking about the twin, not the priest fool!
moviegirl6 5
Good lord, calm down you two. He was joking. Sheesh. Nobody can make a joke around here without someone else jumping down their throat and calling them illiterate. It's ridiculous.
cosmosis 12
I like to kick up a stink on the internet. Makes my day go quicker....
CryMoreFMLs 15
42 - So you like being an asshole, just to be an asshole. Why don't you go do something fun like.... sky diving without a parachute. Yeah! That's REALLY fun!
docscientist 10
53 - 42 was just trying to save face.
reaganomics 6
This thread amuses me....
pudwoogie 0
How old are y'all?
claudio117 12
LOL wait till they find out
TheCountess 4
So much for that holy blessing. I guess those don't work retroactively.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I don't know how you define "work" in regards to a purity ring but a friend of mine did this some years ago. She was far from a virgin but she said the blessing redeemed her and she would be chaste from then on until she met her true love. So her purity was retroactive, if you believe in purity.
Enslaved 38
My one sister wasn't a virgin and decided to become a "born again" one. She waited until her wedding day to have sex with her husband. But it was a decision she made for herself. My other sister and her husband were both virgins. Again her/their decision. I just feel it's a bit odd for parents to claim the rights to their children's purity. Though understand their hopes they raised them strong in their beliefs.(: