Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Girls don't fart. My ex looked like a lily, smelled like jasmine, and tasted like cherries. At no point did she ever smell of ass. According to her, anyway.
bloopaloop 27
Should have told him it was a queef
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (12)
bloopaloop 27
Should have told him it was a queef
ojosRojos 28
Sounds like it’s time for you to teach him the classic: “You smelt it, you dealt it.”
Gradask 10
USA, the only country on earth where females do not poop, pee or fart.... Did you know, holding in farts can harm your intestines and cause anal leakage among other things as you get older?
evilplatypus 39
Eh, there are far more prudish countries out there when it comes to bathroom habits. We’re not great, but we’re not the worst either.
bloopaloop 27
That's because American women DONT have buttholes. Women where you're from sound gross
BurnInDemonFire 39
Girls don't fart. My ex looked like a lily, smelled like jasmine, and tasted like cherries. At no point did she ever smell of ass. According to her, anyway.
raven_of_azarath 35
Someone sounds like they’re still a little bitter.
Aphrodite 20
I think the more important question is what the hell did you eat to fart so loud?
jbuckets_404 39
OP, simply get him the book, "Everybody poops!" Or "What Shat That?"
jriley4u 17
The real question is,, what’s wrong with your brother. Never met any boy at any age that didn’t think a fart, no matter how loud, the louder the better, was hilarious.