Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
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Top comments
drpepperking10 18
It's generally a rule of thumb not to fart in the pool for this reason.
krazy789 28
This sounds very embarrasing so fyl. Also on a side note why is everyone getting downvoted?
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Comments (26)
LostInTheZone11 29
While it may not have worked in this case because you had to be close to your son, I've learned you dive deep into the pool to release it if you can't get out in time.
Kinglue 17
This shouldn't be downvoted?...
TheEpicKitten 20
This is kinda petty. Really though, no one actually cares if you fart in a pool
elcee1987 18
Um. I kinda do.
drpepperking10 18
It's generally a rule of thumb not to fart in the pool for this reason.
allie2590 31
What is she supposed to do? Jump out of the pool, let out a big, wet-sounding fart on the deck in front of everyone and then jump back in? I think everyone would've called her the fart monster at that point.
drpepperking10 18
Clench her cheeks.
tygerarmy 35
People fart, why do you care? Should have just laughed it off and chased your sin around, threatening to fart on him. Now if you shit yourself in a pool, then you'd have a problem fart monster.
tygerarmy 35
^^son
nonsensical 26
Sin, son... What's the difference? Muahaha
iAlissa 34
Be thankful there were not any floaties. Couldn't imagine a worse public swimming situation than over trusting a toot in a pool.
BreM16 23
That's why you don't fart in pools.
krazy789 28
This sounds very embarrasing so fyl. Also on a side note why is everyone getting downvoted?
Elban 20
Should have started roaring and tossing kids like Godzilla!
khadishja 12
my dad did this once and I called him "the bubble maker" for two days.